Music Minute: On the brink of a miserable Christmas

Jen here with another Music Minute.

Today I want to talk to y'all about traditions. According to the dictionary, a tradition is a custom or belief passed down among generations—like my grandma's pot roast recipe. But a tradition can also be defined as a kind of habit. If I were to say, "My family always watches the Lions and the Packers play on Thanksgiving Day—it's tradition," y'all would know what I mean, right? So for our purposes, let's think of a tradition as anything that gets done from year to year in roughly the same way. Traditions make us comfortable and happy, and make home feel like home.

And, we're talking about holiday traditions, since it's barely two and a half weeks until Christmas. Take a minute to think about YOUR holiday traditions. Just for discussion (and to embarrass myself a bit), here are a few of mine: 1) It's just not Christmas till Mom cleans the fridge. She's making way for tasty treats! 2) My cats traditionally park themselves under the Christmas tree every day till I take it down, and often have fights underneath it. (Y'all. I did not say all traditions were good.) 3) I watch A Christmas Story with my nieces and nephews at least once. 4) I buy something for a needy family through The Heifer Project (usually a goat). 5) I go visit my family. 6) I go to a festival of Lessons and Carols...nine bible readings followed by beautifully-sung Christmas carols.

They may not be spectacular traditions, but they're mine. They make it feel like Christmas. And this year, well...let me explain. A few weeks ago, my mom fell and broke her shoulder. It's a bad enough break to need surgery, which she had last Friday. She's all bound up in a splint for the next four weeks, and you know what that means—no cleaning the fridge. No cooking. She doesn't even want guests for Christmas. So there goes my #1 Christmas tradition.

As for #2, my cats have been ignoring each other this year, and while one of them is usually under the tree, there is no jockeying for position going on. Which makes me sad and relieved all at once.

Third, because of my mom's shoulder surgery and a few other family circumstances, I won't get to see my nieces and nephews this year. Fifth, there's no visit, and sixth, the Lessons and Carols I usually go to didn't make it this year. There isn't one.

So, what's a girl to do? What are YOU to do when your Christmas plans get upended and no matter what you do, you just don't really feel like celebrating? You know what to do. You put your chin up and make the best of it. Simple, right?

Sometimes, though, this is easier said than done. (Simple does not necessarily mean easy.) I admit it will be a little harder this year to enjoy my Christmas without the comfort and happiness of my family around. But I also know that there is absolutely nothing preventing me from actually enjoying it, other than the choices I make. If I choose to mope around and complain about how I won't get any leftovers and I miss those kids and my mom is so mean (she isn't) and I probably won't get what I want, then I'll get exactly the kind of Christmas I've chosen—a miserable one. So since we already know about that, let's try the alternative.

If you're feeling yourself on the brink of a miserable Christmas, I'd like you to take a minute to try to find the way through it. (The way through will never be to focus on what is making you miserable.) Without dwelling on it, make yourself a list of four or five things that are bringing you down and you wish were different. Then, make a list of four or five things you're going to do to enjoy Christmas in spite of it. Here is mine:

1. Have dinner and Christmas with friends, and call my parents and family to tell them I love them. Also, thank God my mom is okay after her surgery and on her way to recovery.
2. Have a cup of tea or hot chocolate near the Christmas tree, and thank God my cats aren't fighting and there is peace in my apartment.
3. Watch A Christmas Story with my niece and nephew on video chat.
4. Buy two goats, since I'm not traveling, and be happy I can help someone else.
5. Go see my mom for New Year's.
6. Treat myself to the Nashville Symphony performing Handel's Messiah.

... and think about how I am blessed.

Not everything on your list will work out just as you want it to, but you will find your spirits lifting if you'll just find something else to focus on besides how things aren't going your way. Make your lists, keep your chin up, and (to bring it back to music) find yourself some Christmas music to listen to. I've found it's nearly impossible to be sad when Christmas carols are playing. Here are a few ideas: a new album from Israel called A Timeless Christmas, FF5's excellent Christmas Pageant, Chris Tomlin's new disc Glory In The Highest, plus the oldies...Handel's Messiah, or check out a Christmas album by Ella Fitzgerald, Bing Crosby, Mel Torme, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Dean Martin, Burl Ives, Nat King Cole...try something new. If you've got an iTunes account, take advantage of the 30-second preview. Ask your mom and dad what Christmas sounds like to them, or maybe your granny and granddaddy.

So, to recap...be willing to let go of your traditions in favor of some possible new ones. Make a list of things you can do to keep on the sunny side of the street. Check out some new music. And above all, remember that the most important message of the holidays is that Jesus came to live and die for us. Try to be sincerely thankful for that every single day.

One last note: Depression at the holidays is real. You might be going through something horrible and painful and not feel like celebrating. That's okay. But if you find yourself having terrible thoughts, sleeping all the time, not eating, or you feel the weight of the entire world crushing you and can't seem to cheer up or let go, there is no shame in seeking professional help. In fact, you should seek it. Talk to your youth pastor or a trusted adult to find out some options for walking through your circumstances.

Be merry.