Fractured Fairy Tales (about marriage)

by Jennifer McCaman
 
Fact: Marriage is a wonderful thing designed by God, but it's not perfect and it's certainly no fairy tale.

Hollywood doesn’t help our perception of marriage. We all know stars who tied the knot only to realize a few years (or even months) later that they had “fallen out of love” and decided to divorce. It's a fairy tale myth—and it doesn’t come close to the marriage God designed us to have.
Happily Ever After
Check out these other fairy tale myths about marriage we often believe:

■ Myth: You will get along with your spouse all the time.
■ Fact: Conflict happens.
One of the fairy tales about marriage is that you will live together always in blissful honeymoon joy. It’s just not true. Because you are two imperfect people, your differences will clash eventually. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a great marriage. Working through conflict strengthens your marriage and helps you love each other even more. But when you go into marriage thinking you’ll never argue, that’s dangerous.

■ Myth: Most of marriage is romance and sex.
■ Fact: Most of marriage is everyday life.
Hollywood makes it look like ­marriage is all about sex and romance. If you’ve followed God’s design for sexual purity, it’s easy to think that most of your married life will consist of having sex. Yes, sex is a ­wonderful part of marriage. It is a beautiful, God-honoring affirmation of your unity and should always be part of your relationship. (Plus, it’s fun.) But honestly, you’ll spend way more time sleeping, watching TV, doing laundry, grocery shopping, and just sitting on the couch together during the week than you will spend having sex. If your idea of marriage is purely based on physical intimacy, you will be disappointed. The beauty of marriage is doing life together, praying for each other, supporting each other, and helping each other live out God’s plans for your life.

■ Myth: Your husband or wife will meet your needs.
■ Fact: Christ alone will complete you.
One reason so many marriages end in divorce is because people look for completion in a spouse. Christ alone completes you. He knows you better than anyone ever will, and He is the One who loves you more than anyone else, even your future spouse. If you aren’t complete in Christ before your wedding, you will not be complete in marriage. 

Marriage is one of the greatest blessings and deepest joys, but it also takes work and sacrifice. The best way you can prepare for it is to run after God with everything you have. He will bring you and your future spouse together so that the two of you can do more for Christ than you ever could apart. And that’s better than any fairy tale.

(To read this article in its entirity, check out page 40 of the May 2010 issue of ec. To subscribe, go here.)