The editor's thoughts on the March 2011 issue

A friend of mine found out that her stepfather, the man who had been
her father since she was a child, passed away while she was hours away
from home in a foreign country on a mission trip with her college. I
didn’t know her then, but I’ll never forget the way she talked about
her pain or her description of her tears splattering on the uneven
planks of the hardwood floor in the lobby of the hotel. In my mind’s
eye, I saw her there, sobs wrenching from her body and tears coming
unbidden.

But I’ll also never forget the simple e-mail she got from a friend,
someone we both admire. It simply said, “The aching may remain, but
the breaking will not.”

No, those words aren’t Scripture. They’re the lyrics of a song by
Andrew Peterson called “The Silence of God.” And in the midst of her
suffering, they spoke truth to her—that the pain she felt was real and
would last a long time and may never fully go away. But it wouldn’t
kill her, because the God she loved is the same God who promises to
redeem all things.

As Christ-followers, we sometimes believe a false concept that because
we’re following Jesus, our lives will be problem-free. That we won’t
have to suffer. That God’s biggest role in our lives is to do whatever
makes us happy. But the problem with that idea is that it isn’t true.
Jesus promised that His believers would face persecution and suffering
(John 15:18; 16:33). And the fact is, Jesus Himself suffered greatly
while He was on this earth in human form. If Jesus Christ—the Messiah,
God in human flesh—suffered during His earthly life, why would we
expect that our lives would be free of pain, sorrow, and suffering?

We will face suffering, pain, and loss in this life. It won’t always
seem fair, and at times, we’ll feel overwhelmed and broken by it.
That’s the truth. And this month, we’re telling the truth about
suffering in ec. Jennifer Denning’s cover story, “Faith under Fire” on
page 27, tells the truth that suffering is part of our fallen world
and speaks to the lie that God exists just to make us happy. Through
Anna McKenzie’s article (p. 18), Lindsey Dugue’s quiz (p. 19), and
numerous other devotions and articles, you’ll learn that God can give
us hope even in our deepest sorrows, and He often redeems the things
we thought would kill us so that they shine with His glory. After you
read this issue, I hope you realize that God can even use the
suffering in our lives to bend and break us so that He can mold and
shape us to look more like His Son. You can’t escape suffering in this
world, but you can trust God.

The aching may remain, but the breaking will not.

What we wish we'd known in high school: Dating

Recently, we asked some people who are a little older and a bit wiser than you to share with us what they wish they had known when they were in high school. Here's what they had to say about dating:

“You’ll be just fine if you haven’t had a boyfriend, girlfriend, first date, or first kiss by the time you graduate from high school.”
—Emily Cole

“I wish I’d known that purity in every form of the word—spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically—is so very important and to be guarded and protected.”
—Kaylan Christopher

“Girls, if a boy doesn’t call you back, don’t keep calling him. Let him pursue you.”
—Emily Cole

“I wish I had known that in the large majority of cases, high school sweethearts and boyfriends do not last. If I could do it all over again I would spend way less time worrying about my dating life and more time focusing on my GPA, dental hygiene, and driving skills because those are things that affect and stay with you forever.”
—Julie Sallee Partin, ec writer

“The reality that high school relationships usually don’t last forever doesn’t give you permission to be a jerk. Your friends may break up and go out with a new girl every week. That doesn’t mean you should be flippant about how you treat who you’re dating. No matter how long it lasts, treat her with respect. It’s a good thing I did; I married my high school girlfriend.”
—Scott Latta

“I wish I’d known that when you give your body to someone, you’re also giving a piece of your heart.”
 —Pam Gibbs

“Having a girlfriend or boyfriend should not define you. Our identity and our worth is found in Christ and Christ alone, not in a guy or a girl who likes us. Dating can be an important part of your teenage years, but it should never become your primary focus.”
—Will Snipes, ec writer

If you'd like to see more articles like this one, subscribe to the print edition of ec at www.lifeway.com/ec.

The truth about exercise and YOU

by Kevin McKechnie, M.D.

Exercise may be the cheapest and one of the most effective medicines available. But unfortunately, among children, teens, and adults, it’s often ignored.

Definitions, Please!
By exercise, I mean cardiovascular or aerobic physical activity that raises your heart rate for at least 30 sustained minutes. A simple example is a brisk 30-minute walk. Other possibilities include cycling, spinning, swimming, running, jogging, aerobics, aerobic dance, water aerobics, jumping rope, hiking, stair climbing, and cross country skiing. There are many more activities from which to choose. Some team sports also qualify as exercise. Playing soccer, lacrosse, and hockey certainly count, unless, of course, you are the goalie. The examples of rugby and ultimate frisbee show how diverse and fun cardio exercise can be.

Pump that Iron
I often am asked about weight lifting. Lifting a few sets or seeing how much you can lift does not count as aerobic exercise. However, circuit training—using higher repetitions of lower weights with little or no break between sets—can provide a good cardio workout. Circuit training also builds strength and muscle tone.

Keep trying
Many people are quite active and yet do not exercise by the definition above. Activity is better than inactivity, but activity and exercise are not exactly the same thing. The walking you do between classes or at the mall is good activity but does not qualify as aerobic. Even going up a few flights of stairs is great activity but not the cardio workout that you need. Again, sustained heart rate elevation is a requirement for the activity to be called aerobic.

No excuses
Unfortunately, too many people make excuses to avoid exercising at all. “I don’t have time” is the most common excuse that I hear. Most of us are busy and have to set aside the time. Two or three hours a week may sound like a big time commitment, but it is less time than many of us spend on the computer and watching television. The habits you start now are likely to continue long into adulthood; the first and most important step is starting. Do not put it off until January 1 next year.
If you have not been exercising, I would suggest you start slowly with walking and work your way up to more intense forms of cardio.

Make Time
Each of us must set aside the time to get our formal exercise. Spread the exercise over several days each week rather than a 3-hour workout on a Saturday. Getting together with friends also helps make it more interesting and helps with accountability. Vary your choice of exercise. As one of your exercise options, pick one that you have access to all year and under any weather conditions. Do not forget to warm up and stretch out.
Many of my patients who have started to eat healthier and exercise regularly not only feel better and look better, but also need fewer medications. There are benefits to exercise! I caution you, though: if you are unsure if it is medically safe for you to exercise, consult your physician before starting any kind of exercise program. 

Dr. Kevin McKechnie is an internal medicine physician. He’s originally from Houston, Texas, and currently lives in Nashville, Tenn.In his spare time, he enjoys medical missions, spending time with his wife and three kids, coaching sports, and, yes, exercising. You can find this article and more in the February 2011 print issue of ec, available at www.lifeway.com/ec and some LifeWay Christian Stores.

Want to subscribe to ec? Go here.

2nd Annual ec Photo Contest WINNERS!

After much discussion and contemplating every submission we received for our 2nd annual photo contest, we're unveiling the winners today:

Scenic Shots category:
1st place: Brittanie Hignight
2nd place: Calen Reagin
Honorable Mention: Catie Foster

Faces category:
1st place: Christina Blake
2nd place: Melissa Seibert
Honorable Mention: Tracy Blackwell

You can check out the winning photos on our Facebook page. They'll also be published in the April 2011 issue of ec and featured here on the blog during the week of April 4, 2011.                                                                                                             

The editor's thoughts on the January 2011 issue

I hate confrontation. In my closest relationships, I sometimes even find myself taking extreme measures to avoid it. I fear confrontation because my relationships with friends and family are vitally important to me. I don’t want to do or say anything that would damage the relationship—or, in the worst case scenario I fear the most, end the relationship.

Recently, I had to sit down with a friend and have one of those face-to-face, honest, confrontational talks. Things had started to change in our relationship, and friction had developed. She had hurt me, and instead of talking about it, I’d tried to push the hurt deep inside myself and ignore the problems. But the assumptions, expectations, and hurt feelings between us only grew. It was time to be honest, to forgive and be forgiven, to talk and pray about our problems, and move on. It was a difficult conversation, but it was one that came about because of God.

See, for weeks I’d known something cancerous had slipped into our relationship. Honestly, my first response was self-pity, sadness, and anger. But at some point, I began to pray. I prayed for the relationship, for wise decisions, for God to work in my friend’s heart so that she would invite the conversation, and for God to give us the opportunity to talk. Above all, I prayed that when the time came, I would only say what the Holy Spirit led me to say. And God did it all. I am convinced that because He ordained the conversation, we were able to deal with our problems, set aside our pride and self-righteousness, and even grow into a deeper, more honest friendship.

Relationships are hard, whether with your family, your friends, or the people at your church. But believe it or not, God has given us tools and a standard for living that strengthens and deepens every relationship in our lives. Your greatest resource is your relationship with Christ. By spending time with Him, reading God’s Word, serving others, applying Scripture to your life, and being around people who love Him like you do, you become more like Him. And as a result, your relationships become more about loving others and less about getting your way.

Fact is, a vital relationship with God strengthens every other relationship in your life. That’s why Gretchen Williams’ cover story, “Four Steps to Better Relationships,” focuses on spiritual disciplines. It’s why the devotion themes focus on things like humility, service, community, sacrifice, and meditating on God’s Word. All of these things change the way we live our lives and the way we treat the people in them. I want you to walk away from this issue of ec and know what it means to be a part of the community (or body) of Christ—that’s why we thought it was so important to include teenager Elisha Mott’s story on page 56.

Trust Jesus. Yield your life to Him and let Him transform everything, relationships included.

Christmas in your heart

A wise friend of my family once told my mom that it was good to keep a little bit of Christmas out all year to remind ourselves of what God had done. When I moved into my own place, I kept the tradition alive, placing a tiny pewter Nativity scene on a shelf in my hallway. It’s a simple Nativity scene, just Mary, Joseph, the Baby Jesus, along with a cow and a donkey. Mary looks simultaneously surprised and serene; Joseph seems a little shell-shocked; Jesus looks like any ordinary baby—and the donkey and cow just seem to be there to add a little context.

I keep that Nativity scene out all through the year because my friend’s advice was good. I need to remember the message of Christmas all year round. There are moments when I need to be reminded that Jesus walked this earth just like me and knew the joys and sorrows of life. There have been seasons in my life when I’ve become consumed by the good works of faith, so much so that it would have been easy to forget that salvation itself is a gift.

Salvation is a gift we can’t earn, no matter how hard we try. Even as believers, it’s sometimes easier to think that we have to somehow do good things to become worthy of that salvation. Sometimes, God’s free gift of salvation to all who believe just seems too good to be true.

But the fact is, all those years ago in Bethlehem, we got our first glimpse of the plan of salvation that God had put into motion before the foundations of the earth. He knew our deepest need, and He gave His only Son so that we might have a right relationship with Him.

This Christmas, we don’t want you to get so caught up in the trees, the lights, and the tinsel that you miss out on what God has done for you. We want you to hear and understand the gospel message that God loves you, and He sent His Son to live, die, and rise again so that He might have a relationship with you. That’s the topic of Carol Sallee’s cover story, “The gift that can’t be earned,” on page 26 and the theme of many of this month’s devotions. It’s the reason we asked Sam O’Neal to talk to you about how to make Christmas meaningful (p. 16) and enlisted Erin Davis to answer the tough question of why we need a Savior in the first place (p. 46). It’s the message we want your lives to proclaim and for you to share with others, which is why we included an article on witnessing (p. 60) and Adam Richards’ personal account of sharing Christ with a friend (p. 62).

Christmas isn’t just any holiday. It’s the time we set aside to ponder how much God loves us because of the extravagant nature of His gift: Jesus. Accept Him, love Him, follow Him, and let Christmas live in your heart all year round.

The Halloween debate

Halloween is fast approaching, and you'll be sure to have some decisions to make. As believers, it's easy to be confused about the holiday. We know it can be fun, but we wonder if we're doing something wrong or setting a bad example when we participate in the festivities.

We'd like to guide you to think through your decisions about how you celebrate this year. Here are a few things you need to know:
• Halloween does have its roots in the beliefs of ancient druids, a pagan, pre-Christian religion.
• Christians have historically regarded the day as a way to honor saints (faithful believers) who had died and were now with Christ.
• In order to know what to do about celebrating Halloween, you need spiritual discernment, meaning you seek direction and understanding from God. Make decisions based on wisdom and obedience, not what seems like the most fun or what your friends are doing.
• You may choose not to participate in Halloween at all, and that's fine! If you're uncomfortable with the creepy and evil focus Halloween has taken in our culture, not participating may be your best choice.
• If you do decide to celebrate, think through how you do so. Don't compromise your faith to fit in or do something that would cause others to stumble.
• Think through costumes. Is it scary, evil, or mean-spirited? Is it demonic or seductive? Would your costume choice honor Christ?
• Consider who you'll celebrate with. Will the group of friends you're hanging out with encourage you to make choices that reflect your relationship with Christ? Will they present choices or pressure you to do things that make you uncomfortable or fly in the face of how God has called you to live?
• What kind of celebration will this be? What activities will you be taking part in? Will they honor God? Would you want your mom, grandma, or Jesus Himself to catch you doing those things? Ask questions and think through what is going to happen at the party before accepting the invitation. And if you get there and the party makes you uncomfortable or compromises your stand for Christ, LEAVE!
• Haunted houses and gory movies seem to be a major focus of Halloween celebrations in this country. Think before you go or watch. What messages do these activities send? What thoughts do they put into your mind? Would you participating cause another believer to stumble?

Here's what you had to say about Halloween:
“I think Halloween is a great way to reach out to people. My church and other churches come together and have a trunk-or-treat. Kids can have fun, receive candy, cards with Scripture, and even pocket Bibles. Halloween is OK if you use it correctly!” —Ashley

“Halloween is basically a holiday to celebrate evil, and we don’t. However, we often have church activities to balance it; we have trunk-or-treat in the parking lot, and sometimes an All Saints’ Day party.” —Elizabeth

“We don’t celebrate Halloween, but so that we still get candy we have a harvest party on November 1. We wear costumes, but the costume can only be an animal or something from the Bible (no demons or anything scary).” —Jackie
“We haven’t really celebrated it most of my life, but if we do something it usually is a celebration at a local church. I don’t like to dress up, and I don’t think it is a very good witness for me to be dressed in something that is demonic. Sometimes if we just stay home on Halloween, when kids come to our door we still give out candy and try to hand out Christian tracts, too!” —Joy

Sam O'Neal explored both sides of the issue for us in his story "Halloween: Horror Movies, Haunted Houses, and Faith" on page 52 of the October issue of ec. If you'd like to dig deeper, it's a good resource.

What to do if you're the new kid

School is back in session for most of you. And we know that nothing is quite as terrifying as being the new kid. So if you're new to your school, we've got some helpful tips to get you through those first few awkward days.

If you are the new kid….

Ask questions. If you are new on campus, you will have a lot of questions. Don’t be afraid to ask for ­directions or about school rules. Knowing you don’t have all the answers shows maturity, and it makes others feel good to be an “expert.”

Find common ground. Friendships often begin by sharing something in common with another person. It could be as simple as sitting next to them every day ­during third period or having a passion for skateboarding or ­photography.

Join a club or team. Check out the clubs that are available at your new school. Is there a sport that you were involved in at your old school, or would you like to try ­auditioning for the school play? Sure, you don’t know anyone there yet, but after the first practice, you will.

Attend school events. So you may not be a “school spirit” kind of person, but school events are a great way to feel like a part of your community. Even if you show up with a sibling or a parent, you may run into other students and feel more a part of things. Pay attention to morning announcements so you know what’s going on each week.

Avoid negative self-talk. Our thoughts have a lot of power to influence our emotions and behavior, for good or bad. See if you are getting caught up in these negative thought patterns:
Put-downs: “I’m not as pretty as those other girls.”
Overgeneralizing: “I’ll never make any friends.”
Mind-reading: “They think I’m weird.”

The more you believe these negative thoughts, the less confidence you will have, and the harder it will be to attract others to you. Try focusing on the positive. For instance, can you name three things you like about yourself?

Remember that you’re not alone. You may think you are alone, but you aren’t. There is someone out there who likes what you like—be it basketball or beatboxing, poetry or video games.
Just give it some time.

Last-minute road trips

Yes, school is almost back in session. It's time to make the  most of those last few moments of freedom before your school schedule takes precedence!

Here are a few ideas ec writer Brandy Campbell shared with us in the August issue:

Rockin’ the rollercoaster
There’s probably an amusement park nearby, at least within a few hours’ drive. Take a road trip with your friends (and probably some adults) and spend the day riding rides and gorging on lemonade slushies and cotton candy.

And so it’s not just an endless day of rides, try to come up with a creative game you can play with your friends. See who can get the most pictures taken with characters at the park. Or come up with a scavenger hunt to play in-between rides! Also, don’t forget to check the park’s website to see if they have coupons or discounted days, especially this late in the summer.

Wild kingdom
Maybe rollercoasters and junk food aren’t your thing. If so, take an afternoon to check out the closest zoos and aquariums in your area. There’s a good chance you haven’t been to one since you were a kid, and a lot has changed since then. Many have interactive exhibits where you can see animals up-close. You might even be able to touch a snake *shudder* or feed a giraffe.

Museums
Hear me out: museums are not just for nerds. Let me prove my point. There are some really cool museums out there. So maybe staring at art all day isn’t your thing. See if you can find a nature and science museum. These types of museums often have state-of-the art exhibits that allow you to learn a ton—without having to take a test afterward!

Many science museums also have incredible IMAX® theaters you can check out! Or, you can do the “living museum” thing instead. Many historical sites across the country allow you to “live out” history at unique exhibits that transport you back in time. You can cook over an open fire, just like the pioneers. Well, except for the fact that you’ll probably use your GPS to get there!

Get outside
 Perhaps you want to spend the last few days of summer enjoying the great outdoors. Check out what your local parks have to offer. Many have Frisbee golf courses or even small water parks. You could just pack a picnic lunch and spend the afternoon hanging out, playing on the playground, and throwing the football. Also check to see if there are any ­botanical gardens close-by. They’re a fun, inexpensive way to see beautiful ­flowers—without having to pull a single weed!

(No matter what the last days of summer hold for you, make sure you make the most of it. The one thing you don’t want to do is start back to school with a whole list of things you wish you had done during your time off. Instead, make that list now and mark a ton of stuff off before heading back to the classroom. You won’t regret it!) 

Brandy Campbell, "Last-minute road trips" ec magazine, August 2010, p. 8

Exercise your brain this summer!

It’s summer, but that doesn’t mean your brain has to take a vacation, too. Summer is the perfect time to take a break and escape . . . into a good book.

(Yes, we want you to read. Books, mind you. Over your summer vacation! But a book isn’t necessarily homework, even if it is on your school’s summer reading list or that pesky list of books your teachers say you should have read before you go to college.)

So, go to the library, the bookstore, or grab your Kindle or iPad and read something worthwhile this summer. You’ll need something to do while you’re lounging around the pool, right?

 For people who only read the Spark Notes:
Yes, we know you’re out there. (Hint: so do your teachers!) These are some really good books you might have missed out on simply because reading it was an assignment:
• To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. It’s a classic for a reason and not a hard read. The subject matter—racial injustice and loss of innocence—is tough, though.
• The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. These classic tales are best read as a set, and you’ve got all summer. You can read them in order of publication or in chronological order, beginning with The Magician’s Nephew.


 For history buffs: 
So, you like history. We think that’s cool. Here are a few suggestions for you:
• Undaunted Courage by Stephen Ambrose. This is a biography of Meriwether Lewis and depends heavily on his and William Clark’s journals from their journey through the west.
• The Great Bridge: The Epic Story of the Building of the Brooklyn Bridge by David McCullough. If you’re interested in history or impossible engineering projects, you’ll find this book an amazing example of American courage, corruption, and, ultimately, success.

 For those who’ve only seen the movie: 
Most good books have been made into movies, but a lot of the nuances and character development gets left out when a book is condensed into a 2-hour movie. Usually, the book really is better. Be the judge and read some of these suggestions:
• Band of Brothers by Stephen Ambrose. You may have seen or at least heard of the HBO series of the same name. Read the whole story of E Company and the important role they played in World War II.
• Emma by Jane Austen. Maybe you’ve seen the movie (with Gwyneth Paltrow) of the same name or the movie Clueless. Both are adaptations of this classic Austen tale of a young, spoiled matchmaker who overestimates her abilities.
• The Princess Bride by William Goldman. The movie is a favorite of the entire ec staff. The book is even quirkier.
• The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum. The 1939 movie starring Judy Garland is a classic, but it does differ from the book a little. Watch for subtle differences, like the color of Dorothy’s magic shoes.

 For fans of Christian fiction: 
We realize that there are many Christian writers who write good books. Why not give them a chance this summer? Books to consider include:
• Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. While the book is set in California during the Gold Rush, it is heavily influenced by the story of Hosea found in the Old Testament.
• When Crickets Cry by Charles Martin. A Nicholas Sparks kind of tale, this book tells the story of Annie and Reese and the intersection of their lives one fateful day. 

June 2010: Going through the motions

When I was a child, I wanted to be a ballerina when I grew up. I had a tutu; I liked to leap around our living room and twirl on my tiptoes. I checked out books from the library, learned the basic positions, and even once convinced (read: begged) my entire family to go to St. Louis to see a performance of “The Nutcracker.” I even told people I wanted to be a ballerina, but something important was missing: I never took one ballet lesson. And because of that, no matter how much I twirled and leapt, I wasn’t a ballerina. I was just going through the motions.

We can go through the motions in a lot of things in our lives. Homework. Work, for that matter. Relationships. Church. Sometimes, we get so caught up in doing the things of church that we overlook the relationship we have with God. We’re caught up in a lot of very good, religious things, but we’re not doing them because of our relationship with Christ. We’re just doing them. We’re just going through the motions.

The thing is, going through the motions isn’t what God wants from us. He doesn’t want us to just do religious things that have no meaning or purpose in our lives. He wants to have a relationship with us. He wants to know you, to show you every day how much He loves you, and to change you for His glory. It’s easy to be religious and just follow the traditions or do the activities; it’s more difficult to give yourself over to a relationship with Christ and trust Him with absolute control of everything in your life. Jesus didn’t call us to simply do good things; He called us to follow Him and allow Him to work through our lives. And that implies relationship. It means trusting Him, being in constant communication with Him, allowing Him to know us for who we really are, and being willing to lay our own fears, doubts, dreams, and desires aside so that His plan can be accomplished. That isn’t going through the motions; it’s being known by and knowing God. That’s a relationship.

If you get one thing from this issue of ec, I hope it’s that God wants to have a relationship with you. He doesn’t want halfhearted commitment or religious acts; He wants you. I hope you see that in Rick Futch’s cover story “Religion vs. relationship” on page 26, Kaylan Christopher’s article on listening to God (p. 45), and David Bennett’s “More than a feeling” article on page 58. I pray that you hear it in this month’s devotions and can’t get that truth out of your mind. I hope that you realize as you read this issue that your faith isn’t something you do; it’s something you live. In relationship. With Jesus Christ Himself. Pursue that relationship this month. Don’t just commit to follow Christ. Surrender. Lay it all down. Stop going through the motions.

Because He doesn’t want all of that. He simply wants you.

What's the big deal with Memorial Day?

by Ryan Vermilyea

When you first think about Memorial Day, a wide variety of images come into your mind: cars racing around an oval track at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, smoke billowing from a grill out by the pool, the mass exodus of students leaving school for summer break. Unfortunately, the real reason for the holiday often gets lost in the anticipation of all the activities we plan. Unless we’re careful, Memorial Day can easily be reduced to just another long weekend spent at the lake or by the ocean.

The history of Memorial Day
Originally called Decoration Day, Memorial Day had its inception way back in the 1860s. Initially, the purpose of the holiday was to remember and honor the soldiers killed in the Civil War. Over time, though, the time of remembrance was broadened to include anyone who had been killed while serving in the armed forces.

When Americans began commemorating Memorial Day, May 30 was the designated date for the holiday. Beginning in 1971, federal law changed the celebration from a fixed date to the final Monday of the month. In doing so, lawmakers created an annual three-day weekend. Since then, Memorial Day weekend has traditionally been attributed as the unofficial beginning of the summer season.





Commemorating Memorial Day
If you are wondering how you can properly observe Memorial Day, here are a few suggestions:
Check to see if your city or ­community has any type of celebration or parade planned for Memorial Day. Most towns schedule a special program or event at a specific time to remember those who have died in combat. If there is no such event planned near you, make time to watch one of the national programs on TV.

Join with Americans across the country in observing the National Moment of Remembrance. At 3 p.m., stop whatever you are doing for a moment of silence to quietly honor the memory of the fallen soldiers. This would be a good time to pray, thanking God for the brave men and women who have served our country faithfully and bravely. As you remember their sacrifice for you, thank God for the gift of His Son, because Jesus’ sacrifice made a way for our salvation.

Search online to find a Veteran’s Cemetery near you. If it is close enough, take a trip there around the Memorial Day holiday. Many times, cemeteries have grave sites that are marked as belonging to military veterans. Take a few flowers with you to place on the graves of fallen soldiers, even if you don’t know them.

Pray for the families who have recently lost loved ones in battle.

In conclusion
In the past, I have found myself thinking that Memorial Day was only about those who gave their lives in wars that ­happened before I was born. Maybe you’re like me. But we need to be reminded that there are soldiers who have sacrificed their lives already this year. The significance of Memorial Day is not limited to a group from a certain decade or time period.

Simply put, it is about remembering anyone who has ever given up life so that our country and its citizens might be free—to worship God without fear, to pursue whatever career we desire, and to spend our holiday watching the Indy 500 or grilling out with friends. Praise the Lord for our troops who have stood and fallen—and for those who still stand daily in harm’s way.

Songs of summer

Summer definitely has a sound that’s all its own. And there are some songs that just seem to bring that sound to life.

Whether they bring to mind a leisurely road trip on a sunny summer afternoon, remind you of the beach, or bring back memories of a special summer moment, songs are an important part of our lives.

That’s why the ec team couldn’t ­resist coming up with our own summer playlist. Check out the songs that make us think of summer!

“Sweet Home Alabama”
by Lynyrd Skynyrd
“I’m not from Alabama, but this is a summertime anthem for most Southerners. It’s frequently blasted from the speakers atop the ice delivery trucks that make their way through the Neshoba County Fair (in Mississippi), a place which is the epitome of summer, to me.” —Emily Cole, ec’s production editor

“Surfin’ Safari”
by the Beach Boys
“Optimistic, happy, and summery-sounding, this song takes me back to being a kid at Lake Michigan every time I hear it. The simple harmonies and happy melody sound like sunshine on the water.”
—Jen Showalter, ec’s graphic designer

“All Will Be Well”
by Gabe Dixon Band
“This song is the perfect addition to the soundtrack of a sunny, summer afternoon road trip. Above all else, it soothes my heart, reminding me that all indeed will be well.” —Mandy Crow, ec’s  content editor

“Brown-eyed girl”
by Van Morrison
“This song’s happy guitar melodies take me back to being little and my dad singing the chorus to me on warm summer Saturdays while we ran errands together in his truck. I have brown eyes, so I always liked this song.” —Emily Cole

“Beauty has a name”
by Thad Cockrell
“I first heard this song in the dead of winter, but the infectious melody and dreamy sound instantly transported me to sleepy summer afternoons beside the pool. Plus the chorus makes me smile.”
—Mandy Crow

“Someone Saved My Life Tonight”
by Elton John
“It was the summer after my 8th grade year, which was a great year! There were no cares in the world—playing baseball, hanging out at the pool, a good-looking girlfriend . . . it was just a great summer. I loved the song the first time I heard it. When I hear it now, I immediately think back to that summer.” —Mike Wakefield, ec’s project leader

“A Kiss To Build A Dream On”
by Louis Armstrong
“This song always makes me want to slow down, forget what I’m doing, and smile. The trumpet solo sounds like a street musician playing to a walk-up crowd, and the depth of Armstrong’s voice and emotion sound like summer to me.”
—Jen Showalter

“Kokomo”
by the Beach Boys
“Just listening to this song is like a mini-vacation! I hear it, and I can picture myself on the beach.” —Emily Cole

We shared our favorite songs of summer. Now what are yours? Tell us in the comments!

ec blog: Dispatches

Are you looking for more of what Christy Box had to say in her "Dispatches" on page 55 of the May issue? Well, here's Christy's thoughts in her own words in their entirety. Enjoy!

 A while ago, I had really come to depend on my best friend. We’d known each other for a long time and we spent a lot of time together. Somehow, I never noticed that somewhere along the line, she changed. My best friend turned out to be a jerk to me. For a while after I found out, I was heartbroken. Months went by and Christmas came around. For Christmas that year, my sister gave me a Bible. I had been raised Christian, but somehow I had gotten away from it. I didn’t take any notice of the Bible for a while.

A few days later, when normal life resumed, I picked up the Bible and began to read Genesis. Somewhere before the end of that chapter, I realized this was something real. It wasn’t like my old childhood Bible stories anymore. When Easter came around, I started on the New Testament. When I got to the crucifixion story, I was nearly crying. I thought, “Why would you do this for me?” I knew the answer to that. That was the moment when I first considered myself a Christian.

That summer, I went to a lock-in at my sister’s church. I noticed how everyone seemed to be so excited about God, when I didn’t feel so much that way. I ended up crying in a room in the back where I didn’t think anyone would find me. I told God, “I know you’re here, but it’s not like you can hug me and tell me everything is OK.” Not five minutes later, my sister found me. She hugged me and told me everything was OK. Looking back on that moment, I know that was God saying He was there for me.

Finally, a few weeks ago, a girl emailed me about spreading the word of God in our online classes. I knew I might get in trouble for this, but she convinced be this was worth it. So I did it. I did not get one ugly message back on that email. Those who messaged back were supportive. Not only that, but a few days later, I was friended on Facebook by a girl who loved what I was doing. I started talking to her, and we became fast friends. I felt like I already knew her. When I think about everything that’s happened, I know that God was trying to make my life so much better, even if it hurt at first.

Fractured Fairy Tales (about marriage)

by Jennifer McCaman
 
Fact: Marriage is a wonderful thing designed by God, but it's not perfect and it's certainly no fairy tale.

Hollywood doesn’t help our perception of marriage. We all know stars who tied the knot only to realize a few years (or even months) later that they had “fallen out of love” and decided to divorce. It's a fairy tale myth—and it doesn’t come close to the marriage God designed us to have.
Happily Ever After
Check out these other fairy tale myths about marriage we often believe:

■ Myth: You will get along with your spouse all the time.
■ Fact: Conflict happens.
One of the fairy tales about marriage is that you will live together always in blissful honeymoon joy. It’s just not true. Because you are two imperfect people, your differences will clash eventually. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a great marriage. Working through conflict strengthens your marriage and helps you love each other even more. But when you go into marriage thinking you’ll never argue, that’s dangerous.

■ Myth: Most of marriage is romance and sex.
■ Fact: Most of marriage is everyday life.
Hollywood makes it look like ­marriage is all about sex and romance. If you’ve followed God’s design for sexual purity, it’s easy to think that most of your married life will consist of having sex. Yes, sex is a ­wonderful part of marriage. It is a beautiful, God-honoring affirmation of your unity and should always be part of your relationship. (Plus, it’s fun.) But honestly, you’ll spend way more time sleeping, watching TV, doing laundry, grocery shopping, and just sitting on the couch together during the week than you will spend having sex. If your idea of marriage is purely based on physical intimacy, you will be disappointed. The beauty of marriage is doing life together, praying for each other, supporting each other, and helping each other live out God’s plans for your life.

■ Myth: Your husband or wife will meet your needs.
■ Fact: Christ alone will complete you.
One reason so many marriages end in divorce is because people look for completion in a spouse. Christ alone completes you. He knows you better than anyone ever will, and He is the One who loves you more than anyone else, even your future spouse. If you aren’t complete in Christ before your wedding, you will not be complete in marriage. 

Marriage is one of the greatest blessings and deepest joys, but it also takes work and sacrifice. The best way you can prepare for it is to run after God with everything you have. He will bring you and your future spouse together so that the two of you can do more for Christ than you ever could apart. And that’s better than any fairy tale.

(To read this article in its entirity, check out page 40 of the May 2010 issue of ec. To subscribe, go here.)

Discovering your spiritual gifts

If you're an avid ec reader, you know that for the last few months, we've been doing a series of articles on spiritual disciplines. This month, the article focuses of the spiritual discipline of service and as part of that, we invited you to discover your spiritual gifts and get involved in ministries or activities that use those gifts.

But how do you find out what your spiritual gifts are? A good first step would be to read what the Bible has to say about spiritual gifts. Check out 1 Corinthians 12:17-30 and Romans 12:6-8. Pray for understanding as you read these passages and for the Holy Spirit to make your gifts clear to you.

Another important part of finding out what your spiritual gifts are is taking a spiritual gifts inventory. And you're in luck, because we've got a spiritual gifts inventory all ready for you. Do know that this will take some time and it's probably something you'll want to do in a quiet place where you have space and time to think.

Let us know what you find out!

(P.S. The spiritual gifts inventory is a PDF, so you will need Adobe Acrobat Reader to access it. Feel free to print it out and work on it at your convenience.) 

The Big Picture

“I think I’ve made you too small,” or so goes a lyric from an Addison Road song. I have to admit: I downloaded their album on a whim fueled by my brother’s advice and the fact that I liked their song “Hope Now,” which was all over Christian radio at the time.

But when I sat down to listen (I always listen to a new album in its entirety when I buy it), “Hope Now” wasn’t the song that gave me pause. It was “What Do I Know of Holy?,” the song I quoted earlier. That song felt like it was my own thoughts set to music. What did I know of holiness? Had I made a box for God and tried to fit Him into it? Had I so focused on my concept of who God was and what He was doing that I’d missed out on the bigness of His plan?

That’s something I’ve thought a lot about these last few weeks—how big God is and how vast His plans for us really are. We like to pick and choose from among God’s characteristics and paint a portrait that makes Him more understandable to us. God is love. God is patient. Jesus longs to be our Shepherd. God never leaves us. God has plans for us. All of those things are true, but God is also so much more. All of us who have accepted Christ as our Savior and Lord are absolutely thankful for His salvation, but sometimes we simply see it as a personal thing and miss out on the “bigness” of that gift—how God’s salvation changes us and the people that gift calls us to be.

This month, we at ec want you to see God for who He is and recognize the immenseness of His redemption. This Easter, as you ponder Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection, we want you to know that Jesus’ sacrifice was always part of God’s plan, as Jennifer Denning so eloquently explains in her cover article on page 26. We want you to understand how God’s overwhelming love transforms us and calls us to a different way of life, something you’ll see in Brandy Campbell’s article on page 45, Dan DeWitt’s story on page 56, and this month’s installment of our spiritual disciplines series (p. 62). There will be fun stuff, too, like Lauren Farmer’s article on prom (p. 16) and our guide to baseball (p. 40), but it’s our hope that somewhere in this month’s devotions, articles, and features, you encounter a God who overwhelms you—with His love, with His mercy, and with the grand scale of His plan to redeem us all.

It’s easy for me to try to put God into a box, to try to come up with this picture of who He is that simultaneously makes Him more understandable and makes me feel comfortable. But that’s not God. It’s my prayer this month that you get a glimpse of who God really is—His holiness, His overwhelming love for you, and His power to redeem us all so that you get uncomfortable and let Him change you.

Top 10 list: Unity destroyers in the church

by Leslie Ann Jones

Every church has them. People and things that rip apart its fragile unity. Sadly, it doesn’t take much to splinter a church and turn an isolated incident or minor disagreement into an all-out family feud. Here are 10 of the most common destroyers of church unity.

10. The gossip.
Most famous for disguising rumors and gossip as prayer requests, the gossip loves a good story. She just wants you to know what’s going on in everyone else’s private lives so you can faithfully pray for them.

9. The know-it-all.
The know-it-all doesn’t care that the pastor went to seminary and holds an advanced degree in theology; he always knows the correct interpretation of a controversial passage, and he’s not afraid to share it—loudly.

8. The control freak.
Blessed with the spiritual gift of leadership (or so she thinks), the control freak believes she should be in charge of everything. It’s all for the sake of putting to use the gift God freely bestowed upon her, even if it means she has to stifle other people’s gifts in the process.

7. The color of the carpet.
When it’s time to trade out the dusty rose carpet for a more subtle shade, be prepared for a major rift between the “Khaki Kamp” and the “Camel Crew.” Who cares if khaki and camel reside just a few shades apart on the color wheel? Choosing the right color is one of the most important decisions the church will make. After all, we’ll be stuck with it for at least 30 more years.

6. The big screen.
Meet one of the most controversial fixtures making an appearance in traditional churches today. Everyone knows that the hymnal is second only to the Bible in holiness. Giving it up in favor of words on a screen is just plain ­sacrilegious, not to mention wasteful. Do you know how much those hymn books cost?

5. The dynasty.
Most churches have at least one dynasty, a ruling family that makes all the important decisions in the church by throwing around their collective weight. The real problem arises when a church has two dynasties at odds with one another. When that happens, take cover and look for an escape route: chaos is bound to ensue!

4. The stick-in-the-mud.
Famous for refusing to change, the stick-in-the-mud lives in the past, basking in the good old days. Convinced that anything new comes straight from the Devil, the stick-in-the-mud spends all his time resisting the newfangled ideas that the trendster (see next entry) throws at him.

3. The trendster.
In contrast to the stick-in-the-mud, the trendster lives for change and floats along on the wave of what’s popular right now. One day that might be the big screen, the next it may be the hymnal. Her favorite phrase? “Everyone’s doing it.”

2. The complainer.
Nothing can please the complainer. The carpet is the wrong color. The big screen is too big. The money is being wasted. The dynasty is too controlling. The stick-in-the-mud won’t change. The trendster changes too much. The gossip keeps spreading rumors, and the know-it-all doesn’t know anything at all.

1. The money.
The source of many problems, the money divides congregations simply by its presence . . . or absence. When the money makes an appearance, it’s sure to ruffle feathers over tithing or start budget wars. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

(Now, we've delivered our list of the top 10 unity destroyers with a healthy dose of sarcasm, but we hope our point is clear. We, the church, often get caught up in conflict over things that have absolutely no eternal value. The church exists so that we can invite others into a relationship with God. Our actions, ministries, decisions, and decision-making as the church should point others to Christ. Some decisions we face as a church are eternally significant and we should treat them as such; others aren't. But everything we do should bring glory to our God.)

The expanded story: Movies, books, and music about suffering

In case you haven’t picked up on it in this month’s devotions or the ec cover story, suffering is a big theme in this issue. That’s why we asked Anna McKenzie to help us find some movies about true suffering that also point to the hope only our God can give. Want your faith to be encouraged? Check out her picks!

Amazing Grace
2006/Four Boys Films
Starring Ioan Gruffudd
An engaging and heartfelt drama, Amazing Grace tells the story of William Wilberforce, a strong Christian and a member of British parliament who took on the mission of abolishing the slave trade in the United Kingdom in the early 1800s. He endured a great deal of criticism and opposition and suffered from a chronic illness which hindered his progress. This modern classic depicts Wilberforce’s persistence and reliance on God’s strength, which ­carried him through the seemingly insurmountable obstacles that stood in his way.

End of the Spear
2005/Every Tribe Entertainment
This is the story of Jim Elliot and fellow missionaries who brought the gospel to a violent tribe in Ecuador. Doing so cost five of the missionaries their lives. It’s sad, but also hopeful.

“It is Well with my Soul”
written by Horatio Spafford, composed by Philip Bliss
Horatio Spafford underwent a great deal of suffering prior to writing this well-known hymn. His 4 year-old son died, then he lost a lot of property investments in the Chicago Fire of 1871. Two years later, in 1873, his wife and four daughters were on a ship that sank; his wife alone survived. In the midst of his grief over the loss of his children, Spafford found comfort in God’s grace and salvation. He knew that despite all that might happen to him on earth, it was well with his soul.

“Oh My God”
Jars of Clay (Good Monsters, 2006)
This powerful song describes all the kinds of people who call out to God, whether genuinely or taking His name in vain—from “liars and fools,” to “pilgrim saints and lonely widows.” It probes the depths of doubt that can accompany suffering, unabashedly questioning hope and wondering how God will respond. The song finishes with the ultimate cry of humanity, “Oh my God,” which leaves all eyes on God, our only hope of restoration in a broken world.
Also check out:
• “Faith Enough,” by Jars of Clay (Who We Are Instead, 2003)
• “Blessed Be Your Name,” by Matt Redman (Blessed Be Your Name, 2005)

The Problem of Pain
C.S. Lewis
In this book, C.S. Lewis tackles the great question of why God allows suffering in the world and what that means for humanity. He approaches this difficult subject logically and honestly, without trying to gloss over the issue. Instead, he addresses pain head-on with a theological and philosophical viewpoint, while his straightforward style remains accessible to the modern reader.

The Hiding Place
Corrie ten Boom
During World War II, Corrie ten Boom and her Christian family hid Jews until they were taken away to concentration camps themselves. In The Hiding Place, Corrie recounts her experiences of Nazi brutality and how she was able to keep her faith during even the bleakest of circumstances. Through the darkness and cruelty that she felt and witnessed, Corrie found that God was still present with her—and it gave her hope and a hard-won peace even in light of intense personal and global suffering.  Also check out:
• If God Is Good by Randy Alcorn
• Where Is God When It Hurts? by Philip Yancey

Thoughts on the March issue

I love the church. I love God’s people. I love being part of a family, especially since most of my immediate family lives no less than four hours away. I love shared meals, hallway hugs, quiet conversations when someone knows you’re hurting, and being united in purpose and passion. I love knowing that I’m surrounded by people who know and love the same God who has saved me and aren’t afraid to sing His praises at the top of their lungs.

But when I was in high school, the local church I loved almost broke my heart. Things that shouldn’t have been said were. Gossip reigned. People I knew, loved, and respected said and did things I didn’t expect or respect. Agendas and plans became more important than people. And instead of displaying God’s love and hope to our community, we put on a pretty good display of sinfulness. Why would anyone want to be a Christian when we can’t even love each other?

That’s a question that resounds all around the world. How are believers supposed to be light in a dark world when we can’t even get along? There are things that happened in that time of disunity in that church that frankly still hurt when I think about them. It took me a long time to forgive and to realize that God could even use that situation to grow me up in Him, but it still doesn’t excuse the carelessness with which we all treated the bride of Christ, His church.

I contend that you cannot read the New Testament and come away believing that the church isn’t important to God. It’s what Jesus died for; it’s the way God has chosen to reach the world with His message of hope. I’ve heard it said that “you can’t love Jesus and hate His wife,” a reference to the church as the bride of Christ. There’s truth in that. If you love Jesus, you want to be with His people and work to see His mission fulfilled on earth. And you can’t do that alone.

That’s what this issue of ec is all about: the church. This world may say that church isn’t relevant, but we at ec don’t agree. Just read Amanda Jensen’s article on page 26. We also realize that the church isn’t perfect, because those of us who make it up aren’t perfect, either. Just check out Randy Fields’ story on page 45 for more about that. This issue of ec is full of articles, devotions, and even quotes designed to help you realize the kind of life God has called you to live and the people with whom He has called you to live out your faith—the church.

Remember this: Christians aren’t perfect, but Jesus is. Make Him your focus and see how it changes your church.