The editor's thoughts on the January 2011 issue

I hate confrontation. In my closest relationships, I sometimes even find myself taking extreme measures to avoid it. I fear confrontation because my relationships with friends and family are vitally important to me. I don’t want to do or say anything that would damage the relationship—or, in the worst case scenario I fear the most, end the relationship.

Recently, I had to sit down with a friend and have one of those face-to-face, honest, confrontational talks. Things had started to change in our relationship, and friction had developed. She had hurt me, and instead of talking about it, I’d tried to push the hurt deep inside myself and ignore the problems. But the assumptions, expectations, and hurt feelings between us only grew. It was time to be honest, to forgive and be forgiven, to talk and pray about our problems, and move on. It was a difficult conversation, but it was one that came about because of God.

See, for weeks I’d known something cancerous had slipped into our relationship. Honestly, my first response was self-pity, sadness, and anger. But at some point, I began to pray. I prayed for the relationship, for wise decisions, for God to work in my friend’s heart so that she would invite the conversation, and for God to give us the opportunity to talk. Above all, I prayed that when the time came, I would only say what the Holy Spirit led me to say. And God did it all. I am convinced that because He ordained the conversation, we were able to deal with our problems, set aside our pride and self-righteousness, and even grow into a deeper, more honest friendship.

Relationships are hard, whether with your family, your friends, or the people at your church. But believe it or not, God has given us tools and a standard for living that strengthens and deepens every relationship in our lives. Your greatest resource is your relationship with Christ. By spending time with Him, reading God’s Word, serving others, applying Scripture to your life, and being around people who love Him like you do, you become more like Him. And as a result, your relationships become more about loving others and less about getting your way.

Fact is, a vital relationship with God strengthens every other relationship in your life. That’s why Gretchen Williams’ cover story, “Four Steps to Better Relationships,” focuses on spiritual disciplines. It’s why the devotion themes focus on things like humility, service, community, sacrifice, and meditating on God’s Word. All of these things change the way we live our lives and the way we treat the people in them. I want you to walk away from this issue of ec and know what it means to be a part of the community (or body) of Christ—that’s why we thought it was so important to include teenager Elisha Mott’s story on page 56.

Trust Jesus. Yield your life to Him and let Him transform everything, relationships included.