Friday Snippets and Soundbites

Hey, ec fans! Sorry for last week's lack of "Snippets and Soundbites," but we're back and ready to tell you all kinds of strange stories we've run across in the last couple of weeks. Strange, wacky stories that actually happened. And if today's edition of odd news isn't enough, just check out page 38 in this month's (and every month's) issue of ec. You know you want to!

Ready? Let's go!

Don't tell mom! 

Have you ever heard those words come out of your mouth? I know I have. But never quite for the reason a Salt Lake City, Utah, teen asked people not to tell his mom something. Because that guy asked the clerk at the convenience store he was trying to rob not to tell his mom. It went down like this: the teen entered the store, picked up several items, and approached the counter. The clerk began ringing the items up, and the teen tried to sneak behind the counter and hold a knife to the clerk's neck. The clerk spun around with his hands in the air, though, smacking the teenager in the face and sending him sprawling to the floor. At that point, the teen got up and asked the clerk not to tell the police or tell his mom what had happened before fleeing the scene. Since the clerk did call the police and the story is all over the Internet, we're betting his mom knows now. And she's probably not too happy with him. Read all about it here.

That had to be a pretty big fine

If anyone knows about returning library books late, it's ec's editor, Mandy Crow. She just can't seem to get them back to the library on time. But still, a few days late is very different than 45 years late. Yep, 45 years late. You read that correctly, but someone turned in a library book 45 years too late at a school library in England. Apparently, a first edition copy of "Quartermass and the Pit" by Nigel Kneale was due back to the library on Oct. 15, 1965. The book was returned recently in the mail without a note or address to reveal the sender or the person who might have checked the book out. There's no way to tell who checked the book out, since library records don't go back that far. The library staff says they won't enforce a fine, but they would like to meet the sender and find out why it took him or her 45 years to return the book. For more of the story, go here.

The Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay
The residents of Tampa Bay have another mystery altogether to unravel: the mysterious rhesus macaque monkey roaming around the city who has avoided capture for nearly a year. Authorities aren't sure where the monkey came from, positing that perhaps he was separated from a troupe of wild monkeys in an Ocala-area state park, some 118 miles north of St. Petersburg or escaped from an owner who didn't have a legal permit for such a pet and therefore wasn't registered. Whatever the reason, the monkey has been gallavanting around the city for nearly a year, often narrowly escaping capture. He checks traffic, lounges by pools, scales apartment walls, and someone even started up a Facebook fan page in his honor. Authorities have been trying to capture him, even shooting him with tranquilizers, but even that doesn't seem to work. One trapper even thinks the monkey may be getting addicted to the drugs after all the shots. State wildlife do warn that the animal is dangerous and that his bites could be terribly painful. To read more, go here.

Tell us what you think

We at ec would really like to know your opinion on a new writing and layout style we tried in the March issue. Check out pages 45-47 in the March issue, then click this link and tell us what you think!

Next Friday is Good Friday, so the online edition of "Snippets and Soundbites” will not appear on the blog. But do check back every day next week because we'll be posting additional Easter devotions each day of Holy Week.

What the church isn't

In the March issue of ec, we spent a lot of time talking about what the church is supposed to be. If you don't know what we're talking about, check out Amanda Jensen's "Here is the church" cover story on page 27. After you read that, you'll know what the church is supposed to be, but what about what it isn't?

Here are a few things church is NOT:
An event: something you do once a week and then go home. Believers are the church. It’s part of who you are 24/7.

A club: You’re probably part of a local church and some of your friends may also go there. It’s natural to have those relationships, but don’t let them become cliques. Let the Holy Spirit open your eyes to those you need to serve.

All about you: Or even necessarily all FOR you. It’s easy to think of church as only about you, meeting your needs and making you feel good. But that’s not biblical. Church is about worship (focusing on God and what He has done through Jesus) and reaching those who are lost.

A location: Scripture is clear that the church are those who are united as followers of Christ. Your church meets in your building. Your church is the people and your church goes out into the world and says something about Jesus by the way you live your lives. What is your life saying? What is the lives of those within your church saying?

About protection: The church isn't some place where believers can go to protect themselves from the big, bad world. Instead, the church is the place and the people who help you prepare and encourage you to minister to the big, bad world. Church isn't about cutting ourselves off from the world; it's about coming together to find a way to reach that world through Christ.

Scripture is clear that the church is the way God has chosen to further His kingdom and declare the gospel message until Jesus returns. Be the church and do the work God has called us to.

Your opinion STILL wanted!

A few weeks ago, we asked you to give us some feedback on a new design we tried out on Randy Fields' story "When Church Goes Bad" on page 45 of the March issue.

We'd still like to hear what you thought! So just click this link and answer our poll. We appreciate your feedback and need it to make ec the magazine the best it can be!

What's your REAL (spiritual) age?

God never intended us to stay spiritual babies. Nope, Scripture is actually quite clear that He expects us to mature in our faith, growing up in Him and changing the way we live because of what He's teaching us. Use our handy evaluation below to start thinking about where you are in your spiritual growth and what you can do now to become more like Jesus. Honestly evaluate yourself in light of the following statements:

Yes    No    I read the Bible daily.
Yes    No    I am closer to the Lord than I was this time last year.
Yes    No    I am involved in a church.
Yes    No    I hang out with people who encourage me to grow in my relationship with God.
Yes    No    I confess my sin to God, repent, and stop doing that sin.
Yes    No    I want to grow in Christlikeness.
Yes    No    I encourage my friends to follow God.
Yes    No    I seek advice from godly people.
Yes    No    I am discovering and exercising my role as a member of the body of Christ.
Yes    No    When life overwhelms me, I turn to God.
Yes    No    I am becoming more bold in my witness.
Yes    No    I let Christ, not the world, define my worth.
Yes    No    I am growing in humility, understanding more and more who God is and who I am as His child.

Now add up how many times you picked “yes” and calculate your “spiritual age” below:

0-3 Spiritual Infant: Exciting and dramatic life changes are ahead as you choose to grow in your faith.
4-7 Spiritual Adolescent: Growing up is hard and sometimes awkward for you, but you are getting ready for new responsibilities if you’ll just keep moving forward.
8-10 Spiritual Teenager: You stand out from the crowd, and though it’s tough, your life is impacting people in ways you can’t see. Don’t give up now!
11-13 Spiritual Adult: You’ve realized that the closer you are to God, the more you still have to learn. Your faith is strong, but you must continue to seek God daily as He uses you to lead others.

To read more about spiritual maturity, read "Grow Up!" on page 40-41 of the March issue of ec.

Let the madness begin!

The ec team loves NCAA basketball. March Madness is just one of our favorite times of year. And this year, we'd love for you to join in the fun with us. That's why we're having the ec 2010 bracket challenge. 


You can join in by clicking on that link or going directly to http://ec2010bracket.mayhem.cbssports.com/e. You'll need the password for our group, which is godlifefun.

And if you need a little background on the tournament or some help picking your bracket, here's some timely advice from the March 2010 issue of ec:

The bracket
The championship is a single elimination tournament (meaning that if you lose, you’re out), and there are 65 available slots. Many of those slots are filled by the teams who won their conference tournaments. The remainder are at-large berths and are decided by the NCAA selection committee. The committee weighs each team’s record, rankings, and RPI, a convoluted index that places heavy emphasis on the strength of the team’s schedule of games.
The bracket is divided into four regions and teams are seeded 1-16 in each region. The selection committee seeks to make the seedings as comparable to each other as possible. The two lowest-seeded teams must compete in an opening round game to make it into the tournament. Usually, these teams made it into the tournament by winning their conference championship. The winner then must play the overall No. 1 seed in the opening round.

Picking your bracket
Maybe your family and friends want you to enter their bracket challenge. Why pass up a chance at bragging rights? You don’t have to know everything about college basketball to make a good showing in a bracket challenge. Here are some tips:

•  Remember it’s not about you. You may have a favorite college, but that doesn’t mean that reality lines up with your dream of that team winning it all. Be practical and remember to check in with reality when you make your choices. (But if you have a favorite mascot, feel free to choose accordingly. One year, my carefully selected bracket was torn to pieces by a coworker who made her picks based on team colors.)

•  Trust your instincts. Each year, I complete at least three brackets and they’re all different. Generally, though, the one that’s the most correct is the first one. The lesson I learn from that is not to go back and make changes. If you’re only doing one bracket this year, fill it out and leave it.

•  Make educated choices. Even if you’re not a big NCAA basketball fan, there are teams you will recognize as basketball powerhouses. You’ll ­recognize programs who’ve made several appearances in the tourney over the last few years. Picking teams who have history in the tournament generally isn’t a bad idea. Also consider teams who are entering the tournament with momentum behind them. As you make your decisions, consider who is hot right now, which teams have been slumping lately, and which teams had to play their way into the tournament and are riding an emotional wave.

Friday Snippets and Soundbites

It's Friday. Spring break is likely right around the corner for most of you. And we just want to help you get the weekend started off right—with a little randomness!

That's right, it's time for this week's online edition of "Snippets and Soundbites." If these stories aren't enough, there's more where they came from. Just check out page 38 in this month's (and every month's) issue of ec!

Ready?

Test Drive Thief
Taking a test drive is just part of buying a new car, right? Well, yeah, for most of us. But a Nebraska man decided to use the common practice in his plan to steal a truck. The man took the truck for a test drive on Tuesday, and the dealership, Red Star Auto of Lincoln, called the police the next morning when they found the truck was missing. After investigating, it appears the man stopped during his test drive (unaccompanied by a salesman apparently) to have a copy made of the truck's key. Later, under the cover of darkness, he used the copy of the key to simply drive the truck off the lot. But the man likely forgot the dealership had his address. The dealership owner drove there—a mere 10 blocks away—and found the missing truck. The man has been arrested, but so far, no charges have been filed. We're thinking Red Star Auto of Lincoln may soon change their police. . . and no one will be taking test drives solo anymore!

Pet Problems
Do you have a pet? A dog? A cat? Maybe a hamster, a bird, or a lizard? Well, it appears that miniature goats are becoming more and more popular as pets. Yes, you read that correctly. GOATS. Fans of miniature goats as pets say they live in your yard, are tame, wear leashes, and might produce milk and cheese, so what's not to like? As more and more people take in miniature goats as pets, more city governments have to deal with the issue. Hillsboro, Ore., has held three community meetings this year, including one last week, to ask residents whether goats and chickens should be added to a list of acceptable pets. The Carbondale, Ill., Planning Commission has also debated the issue. In Portland, Ore., you don't need permits to keep up to three goats. The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) is a little worried about the trend though. "My sense is it will get old for people pretty fast," ASPCA representative Stephen Zawistowsk said, and mini-goats will "end up in animal shelters or rescue sanctuaries." Read all about the trend here.

The Mystery of the Midnight Knitter
Jen, ec's graphic designer, loves to knit, but even she would be a little confused by this next story. It appears the New Jersey shore town of West Cape May has a mystery to unravel—and it's not your run-of-the-mill mystery. Recently, under the cover of darkness, someone the residents have dubbed "The Midnight Knitter" has been covering tree branches and lamp poles with tiny knitted sweaters. No one knows who's knitting the sweaters, but they do appreciate the colorful addition to the town. Police are investigating, though, since the sweaters are technically against the law since they're being done on public property without permission. Read more (and watch a video) here.

Top 10 list: Unity destroyers in the church

by Leslie Ann Jones

Every church has them. People and things that rip apart its fragile unity. Sadly, it doesn’t take much to splinter a church and turn an isolated incident or minor disagreement into an all-out family feud. Here are 10 of the most common destroyers of church unity.

10. The gossip.
Most famous for disguising rumors and gossip as prayer requests, the gossip loves a good story. She just wants you to know what’s going on in everyone else’s private lives so you can faithfully pray for them.

9. The know-it-all.
The know-it-all doesn’t care that the pastor went to seminary and holds an advanced degree in theology; he always knows the correct interpretation of a controversial passage, and he’s not afraid to share it—loudly.

8. The control freak.
Blessed with the spiritual gift of leadership (or so she thinks), the control freak believes she should be in charge of everything. It’s all for the sake of putting to use the gift God freely bestowed upon her, even if it means she has to stifle other people’s gifts in the process.

7. The color of the carpet.
When it’s time to trade out the dusty rose carpet for a more subtle shade, be prepared for a major rift between the “Khaki Kamp” and the “Camel Crew.” Who cares if khaki and camel reside just a few shades apart on the color wheel? Choosing the right color is one of the most important decisions the church will make. After all, we’ll be stuck with it for at least 30 more years.

6. The big screen.
Meet one of the most controversial fixtures making an appearance in traditional churches today. Everyone knows that the hymnal is second only to the Bible in holiness. Giving it up in favor of words on a screen is just plain ­sacrilegious, not to mention wasteful. Do you know how much those hymn books cost?

5. The dynasty.
Most churches have at least one dynasty, a ruling family that makes all the important decisions in the church by throwing around their collective weight. The real problem arises when a church has two dynasties at odds with one another. When that happens, take cover and look for an escape route: chaos is bound to ensue!

4. The stick-in-the-mud.
Famous for refusing to change, the stick-in-the-mud lives in the past, basking in the good old days. Convinced that anything new comes straight from the Devil, the stick-in-the-mud spends all his time resisting the newfangled ideas that the trendster (see next entry) throws at him.

3. The trendster.
In contrast to the stick-in-the-mud, the trendster lives for change and floats along on the wave of what’s popular right now. One day that might be the big screen, the next it may be the hymnal. Her favorite phrase? “Everyone’s doing it.”

2. The complainer.
Nothing can please the complainer. The carpet is the wrong color. The big screen is too big. The money is being wasted. The dynasty is too controlling. The stick-in-the-mud won’t change. The trendster changes too much. The gossip keeps spreading rumors, and the know-it-all doesn’t know anything at all.

1. The money.
The source of many problems, the money divides congregations simply by its presence . . . or absence. When the money makes an appearance, it’s sure to ruffle feathers over tithing or start budget wars. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

(Now, we've delivered our list of the top 10 unity destroyers with a healthy dose of sarcasm, but we hope our point is clear. We, the church, often get caught up in conflict over things that have absolutely no eternal value. The church exists so that we can invite others into a relationship with God. Our actions, ministries, decisions, and decision-making as the church should point others to Christ. Some decisions we face as a church are eternally significant and we should treat them as such; others aren't. But everything we do should bring glory to our God.)

YOUR OPINION WANTED

Hey faithful ec blog followers!

Here at ec headquarters, we like our readers. We like to listen when they tell us things. And one of the things some of you have told us is that you'd like less words on the pages of the magazine because you think it looks a little crowded. To honor your request and spice things up a little, we tried something new in the March issue of ec. If you haven't already, check out the article on pages 45-47 and then take our poll below. Thanks in advance for your opinion. We really do have the best readers around!

Friday Snippets and Soundbites

Hey, guys! It's Friday, which means—wait for it!—it's time for the blog edition of "Snippets and Soundbites." Ready for some random news stories from the past week? We've been hard at work, combing news sites and press releases to share some of the more, er, strange stuff that's been going on. Ready? Let's get the show on the road!

Graffiti? There's an app for that.

These days with all the smart phones and iPhone craziness, it seems like there's an app for everything. Counting calories. Getting to where you're going without getting lost. For finding recipes. And now, it seems, fighting back against graffiti. Yep, that's right. An L.A.-based company has created an iPhone app that allows cities to catalog graffiti, dispatch cleanup crews, and provide key evidence to police. Here's how it works: the app allows an iPhone user, whether a citizen or government official, to take a picture of the graffiti and send that photo to the company's database. The location is tagged using the phone's GPS capabilities, a worker is notified, and he or she goes out to paint over the graffiti. The images of graffiti are catalogued and mapped to help police track down suspects and build stronger cases. The app is already in use in Tuscon, Ariz., where police officials say it's a great tool in their fight to keep their city graffiti-free. To way more about the app than you ever wanted to know, go here.

Bringing business to life

You expect a certain kind of behavior from a funeral home, right? Quiet, respectable, efficient, caring. Funeral homes just aren't the place to go for a rollicking good time, right? Well, one mortuary in Massachusetts is ready to challenge our concept of what a good funeral home should be. Devanny-Condron Funeral Home in Pittsfield, Mass., is planning a series of events that Terry Probst, the new managing partner, says are designed to bring life to the business and remind people that the funeral home is a center for community life. (Huh?) On the calendar: a chili cook-off, a murder-mystery show, and free limo rides for couples on their 50th wedding anniversary. We're not sure what to think about all that. If you'd like to read more about the mortuary's plans and other events in the works, go here.

Steer the course!
A lot of things can happen when you're driving. It's why your parents and the government have so many rules about what you can and can't do while driving (listen the radio, text, etc.). But for an Arlington, Wash., man what went wrong when he was driving was completely unexpected. That's because his steering wheel just popped off. Yep. Popped off. Think about that. The man was driving his 1978 Buick on Thursday afternoon when his steering wheel came off. His car left the road, went down an embankment, up the other side, and crashed into a barn. He narrowly missed hitting a power pole and several small barns at a local dairy farm. He suffered only minor neck pain, a miracle indeed. The damage at the farm isn't quite so minor: the car destroyed the farm's refrigeration and milking area and happened right as 140 cows were about to be milked. To learn more, go here.

As always, if this wasn't enough randomness and weird news for you, check out page 38 in this month's (and every month's) issue of ec.

Thoughts on the March issue

I love the church. I love God’s people. I love being part of a family, especially since most of my immediate family lives no less than four hours away. I love shared meals, hallway hugs, quiet conversations when someone knows you’re hurting, and being united in purpose and passion. I love knowing that I’m surrounded by people who know and love the same God who has saved me and aren’t afraid to sing His praises at the top of their lungs.

But when I was in high school, the local church I loved almost broke my heart. Things that shouldn’t have been said were. Gossip reigned. People I knew, loved, and respected said and did things I didn’t expect or respect. Agendas and plans became more important than people. And instead of displaying God’s love and hope to our community, we put on a pretty good display of sinfulness. Why would anyone want to be a Christian when we can’t even love each other?

That’s a question that resounds all around the world. How are believers supposed to be light in a dark world when we can’t even get along? There are things that happened in that time of disunity in that church that frankly still hurt when I think about them. It took me a long time to forgive and to realize that God could even use that situation to grow me up in Him, but it still doesn’t excuse the carelessness with which we all treated the bride of Christ, His church.

I contend that you cannot read the New Testament and come away believing that the church isn’t important to God. It’s what Jesus died for; it’s the way God has chosen to reach the world with His message of hope. I’ve heard it said that “you can’t love Jesus and hate His wife,” a reference to the church as the bride of Christ. There’s truth in that. If you love Jesus, you want to be with His people and work to see His mission fulfilled on earth. And you can’t do that alone.

That’s what this issue of ec is all about: the church. This world may say that church isn’t relevant, but we at ec don’t agree. Just read Amanda Jensen’s article on page 26. We also realize that the church isn’t perfect, because those of us who make it up aren’t perfect, either. Just check out Randy Fields’ story on page 45 for more about that. This issue of ec is full of articles, devotions, and even quotes designed to help you realize the kind of life God has called you to live and the people with whom He has called you to live out your faith—the church.

Remember this: Christians aren’t perfect, but Jesus is. Make Him your focus and see how it changes your church.

March Daily Bible Readings

It's March 1, which means spring is right around the corner. (And it's my mom's birthday. Happy birthday, Mom!) It also means that it's time for you to know the Daily Bible Readings for this month. Without further ado, here they are:

Monday, March 1: Numbers 15–16; Mark 3
Tuesday, March 2: Numbers 17–19; Mark 4:1-20
Wednesday, March 3: Numbers 20–21; Mark 4:21-41
Thursday, March 4: Numbers 22–23; Mark 5:1-20
Friday, March 5: Numbers 24–26; Mark 5:21-43
Saturday, March 6: Numbers 27–29; Mark 6:1-13

Sunday, March 7: Numbers 30–31; Mark 6:14-29
Monday, March 8: Numbers 32–33; Mark 6:30-56
Tuesday, March 9: Numbers 34¬–36; Mark 7:1-23
Wednesday, March 10: Deuteronomy1–2; Mark 7:24-37
Thursday, March 11: Deuteronomy 3–4; Mark 8:1-21
Friday, March 12: Deuteronomy 5–6; Mark 8:22-30
Saturday, March 13, 2010: Deuteronomy 7–9; Mark 8:31-38

Sunday, March 14: Deuteronomy 10–12; Mark 9:1-13
Monday, March 15: Deuteronomy 13–15; Mark 9:14-32
Tuesday, March 16: Deuteronomy 16–18; Mark 9:33-50
Wednesday, March 17: Deuteronomy 19–20; Mark 10:1-16
Thursday, March 18: Deuteronomy 21–23; Mark 10:17-31
Friday, March 19: Deuteronomy 24–26; Mark 10:32-52
Saturday, March 20: Deuteronomy 27–28; Mark 11:1-11

Sunday, March 21: Deuteronomy 29–30; Mark 11:12-33
Monday, March 22: Deuteronomy 31–32; Mark 12:1-17
Tuesday, March 23: Deuteronomy 33–34; Mark 12:18-34
Wednesday, March 24: Joshua 1–2; Mark 12:25-44
Thursday, March 25: Joshua 3–4; Mark 13:1-23
Friday, March 26: Joshua 5–6; Mark 13:24-37
Saturday, March 27: Joshua 7–8; Mark 14:1-11

Sunday, March 28: Joshua 9–10; Mark 14:12-31
Monday, March 29: Joshua 11–12; Mark 14:32-52
Tuesday, March 30: Joshua 13–15; Mark 14:53-72
Wednesday, March 31: Joshua 16–17; Mark 15:1-20