Exit Strategies: Conversations you need to have before you leave home

Maybe you just graduated from high school and know you only have a few months left at home before you’re on your own. Maybe you’re going to college, basic training, or entering the work force. Whatever you’re going to do when you enter the “real world,” make the most of the time you have right now by investing in your loved one’s lives. Here are some key people to have conversations with before you take off. They will provide you with invaluable support and advice.

Parents  
Your move out of the house is not going to hit anyone harder than your dad and mom. This is an intensely bittersweet time for them. Cherish the simple moments and make time to have fun together! Sample questions to ask:
• What was the best and worst thing for you about leaving home for the first time?
• What do you think was the best ­decision you ever made?
• How can we pray for each other while I am away?

Younger siblings  
If you have little brothers or sisters and will be going far away when you leave, you will unfortunately miss some big moments in their lives. Try to plan your trips home around important events like games, ­performances, and graduations. Don’t take your annoying siblings for granted, though, because, believe it or not, in the end you are really going to miss them. Sample questions to ask:
• Is there anything you are excited about in this upcoming school year?
• How do you think the house will be different without me being here all the time?
• Will you call me if you miss me or something big happens in your life?

Older siblings
Your older brother or sister knows what it feels like to move on after high school. He or she has key insights into the experience you are about to have, including the family dynamic. If you and your older sibling are going to the same college, he or she will be able to provide even more beneficial information. Sample questions to ask:
• How are Dad and Mom going to handle me going to college?
• Do you have any regrets from your first year?
• What is the best way to deal with roommates?

A mentor you admire
Hopefully, you have a person in your life whom you look up to and consider a spiritual adviser. That relationship does not have to end just because you are beginning a new phase of life. Your mentor will almost certainly be honored to continue that role in your life. Sample questions to ask him or her:
• How did you meet most of your college friends?
• Do you have any recommendations about dating while in school?
• Can I call you to talk if I need ­accountability or support?

A professional in your future field of employment
If you already have your major or job decided, then you’re already way ahead of the game. Set yourself up for success by following in the footsteps of someone who has done it right. Find a (contactable) person after whom you could model your career. Hopefully, he or she will meet with you in person or talk to you on the phone, but if that person is busy, you’ll have to settle for e-mail. A professional will be able to give you insight into the industry, possible internships, and optimally become a contact and resource for you. Sample questions to ask:
• What advice do you have to offer about college?
• Once I graduate, what will future employers be looking for in candidates?
• What is the secret to your success?

A current student or recent alum of your school
If you’re college-bound, know this: most of the things you figure out about your particular college you’ll find out like everyone—the hard way. But someone who goes/went there is able to give you information you won’t find in an admissions brochure or on the website. Sample questions to ask:
• Can you give me some insider tips about the school?
• Are there any particular professors or classes I should avoid or pursue?
• What are some things to bring that I would not know I needed?

Your best friends from high school
If you are headed to a different college than your closest friends, it will be a difficult social adjustment. Fortunately, this is one of the greatest opportunities you will ever have to start fresh, meet new people, and make all kinds of friends. But you will always treasure your BFFs from high school because they know you inside and out and understand where you came from. Sample questions to ask:
• What are some of your favorite memories about us?
• How are we going to keep in touch?
• When are you planning trips to our hometown? (Hopefully you can plan them at the same time.) 

Other stuff to do before you leave home
• Look through photo albums together with your family members and friends.
• Learn to make your favorite meal and your mom’s special recipe.
• Go over routine automobile maintenance with your dad or some mechanically minded person.
• Eat at the best local restaurants.
• Leave your family and friends secret notes to discover after you have left.
• Have a game night with your family.
• Thank members of your church staff or youth group leaders for the time they have invested in you.
• Give your pet(s) a big hug and take a picture with it (them).
• Take a little alone time in your favorite spot and reflect on your past journey and future dreams.
• Fully appreciate sleeping in your own bed at night.

Article by Julie Partin. "Exit Strategy: Conversations to have before you leave home,"ec magazine, July 2010 (Nashville: LifeWay Christian Resources of the Southern Baptist Convention), p. 56-57.