Exit Strategy: 5 Things you need to do before you leave home

This is it! You are finally headed off to college or into the “real world.” You have probably been preparing for this moment for years. You have worked really hard on your homework, research, GPA, applications, room assignments, class selection, and so much else. Consider yourself triumphant! One aspect you may not have thought about as much, though, is preparing yourself spiritually. That’s where this article, the last in our summer series on preparing to leave the nest, comes into play. Let us help you as you make plans and take action to go deeper in your relationship with God.  

If you are headed to a secular university, you need to understand all the struggles you will face and be willing and ready to stand strong. If you’re going to a Christian college, hopefully the environment will not be as worldly, however, there are still going to be all types of existing bad influences and pressures. If you’re going into the military or the workforce, it’s time for a reality check about the things you’re going to face. Never fear, though! There are things you can do to set yourself up for success.

1. Prepare your testimony.
Wherever you are—secular university, Christian college, or out in the “real world”—you will come in contact with people who are searching for Jesus. Be equipped to witness to them when the time is right and the Holy Spirit leads you. To prepare your testimony remember these three points:
1. Before
2. When
3. After 

First, talk about who you were and how your life was before you accepted Jesus as your Savior. Next, tell how Christ came into your life and saved you. Finally, talk about who you have become in Christ and what your life is like now. Those three are the backbone of a testimony. You can add more to make it personal and relatable, such as sharing significant points and spiritual milestones in your life where you could see God’s hand.

2. Set your standards.
Before you ever leave home is the best time to draw your line in the sand. If you wait until you are in the moment and confronted face-to-face with temptation, it will be much harder to make the right decision.  Make the firm choice to live out your life for God everywhere you go. You will be challenged with all types of temptation. Decide now how you will respond in a Christlike way when faced with drinking, smoking, drugs, dating, sex, pornography, cheating, gossiping, rule-breaking, and anything else that could compromise your beliefs.

3. Find someone to hold you accountable.
Whether it is an accountability partner, a mentor, or a friend, ask someone to help hold you to those standards. It is best to have a person you can meet with face-to-face. If you are planning on retaining an accountability relationship with someone long-distance, arrange a set time to talk on the phone. Once a week or every other week is a good period of time to schedule conversations. Choose someone you completely trust and with whom you can be honest.

4. Research local churches and on-campus religious groups.
Get involved early with the right people. Most of the people who made huge mistakes in college or during young adulthood blame it on the fact that they fell into the wrong crowd.
Find a nearby church with a college or young adult ministry. If you’re going into the military, talk to your recruiter and/or get in touch with a chaplain. Church is not only a great place to nurture your ­relationship with God but will also help you make friends. Plus, you can take your lost friends to church with you in the future. If you’re going to college, also keep in mind that the large majority of
colleges have Christian groups that meet on campus. Campus Crusade for Christ, Baptist Campus Ministries, and Christian fraternities/sororities are just a few examples.

5. Have a Bible study guide and journal ready.
No matter where you’re going or what you’re doing, a big change in your life has an effect on every relationship in your life, including your relationship with Christ. That’s why it’s so important to invest in that relationship even as everything around you is changing. Have a Bible study guide or book already with you and ready to go when you get to school, basic training, or your new town or job. If you don’t plan ahead for this, it may be difficult to carve out the time—and find the cash—once you get to college or your new situation.

And, yes, I know you’ve probably heard all about the benefits of journaling. But really, it cannot be understated. Journaling can be a vital part of your relationship with Christ and can be especially helpful when you’re in a new stage of life and feeling a little ill-equipped, lonely, or confused. If you don’t know what to write when you journal, here are some ideas: prayers, thoughts, quiet time revelations, notes from sermons or lessons, quotes, song lyrics, dreams, and goals.
Keeping track of your spiritual growth will remind you of God’s faithfulness in hard times. You might be overwhelmed with homework, books to read for class, stress and expectations of your job, or all of your new friends and experiences. The most important thing to remember is that even when life is crazy and insanely busy, you always need to make time to read your Bible and pray.

Exit Strategies: Conversations you need to have before you leave home

Maybe you just graduated from high school and know you only have a few months left at home before you’re on your own. Maybe you’re going to college, basic training, or entering the work force. Whatever you’re going to do when you enter the “real world,” make the most of the time you have right now by investing in your loved one’s lives. Here are some key people to have conversations with before you take off. They will provide you with invaluable support and advice.

Parents  
Your move out of the house is not going to hit anyone harder than your dad and mom. This is an intensely bittersweet time for them. Cherish the simple moments and make time to have fun together! Sample questions to ask:
• What was the best and worst thing for you about leaving home for the first time?
• What do you think was the best ­decision you ever made?
• How can we pray for each other while I am away?

Younger siblings  
If you have little brothers or sisters and will be going far away when you leave, you will unfortunately miss some big moments in their lives. Try to plan your trips home around important events like games, ­performances, and graduations. Don’t take your annoying siblings for granted, though, because, believe it or not, in the end you are really going to miss them. Sample questions to ask:
• Is there anything you are excited about in this upcoming school year?
• How do you think the house will be different without me being here all the time?
• Will you call me if you miss me or something big happens in your life?

Older siblings
Your older brother or sister knows what it feels like to move on after high school. He or she has key insights into the experience you are about to have, including the family dynamic. If you and your older sibling are going to the same college, he or she will be able to provide even more beneficial information. Sample questions to ask:
• How are Dad and Mom going to handle me going to college?
• Do you have any regrets from your first year?
• What is the best way to deal with roommates?

A mentor you admire
Hopefully, you have a person in your life whom you look up to and consider a spiritual adviser. That relationship does not have to end just because you are beginning a new phase of life. Your mentor will almost certainly be honored to continue that role in your life. Sample questions to ask him or her:
• How did you meet most of your college friends?
• Do you have any recommendations about dating while in school?
• Can I call you to talk if I need ­accountability or support?

A professional in your future field of employment
If you already have your major or job decided, then you’re already way ahead of the game. Set yourself up for success by following in the footsteps of someone who has done it right. Find a (contactable) person after whom you could model your career. Hopefully, he or she will meet with you in person or talk to you on the phone, but if that person is busy, you’ll have to settle for e-mail. A professional will be able to give you insight into the industry, possible internships, and optimally become a contact and resource for you. Sample questions to ask:
• What advice do you have to offer about college?
• Once I graduate, what will future employers be looking for in candidates?
• What is the secret to your success?

A current student or recent alum of your school
If you’re college-bound, know this: most of the things you figure out about your particular college you’ll find out like everyone—the hard way. But someone who goes/went there is able to give you information you won’t find in an admissions brochure or on the website. Sample questions to ask:
• Can you give me some insider tips about the school?
• Are there any particular professors or classes I should avoid or pursue?
• What are some things to bring that I would not know I needed?

Your best friends from high school
If you are headed to a different college than your closest friends, it will be a difficult social adjustment. Fortunately, this is one of the greatest opportunities you will ever have to start fresh, meet new people, and make all kinds of friends. But you will always treasure your BFFs from high school because they know you inside and out and understand where you came from. Sample questions to ask:
• What are some of your favorite memories about us?
• How are we going to keep in touch?
• When are you planning trips to our hometown? (Hopefully you can plan them at the same time.) 

Other stuff to do before you leave home
• Look through photo albums together with your family members and friends.
• Learn to make your favorite meal and your mom’s special recipe.
• Go over routine automobile maintenance with your dad or some mechanically minded person.
• Eat at the best local restaurants.
• Leave your family and friends secret notes to discover after you have left.
• Have a game night with your family.
• Thank members of your church staff or youth group leaders for the time they have invested in you.
• Give your pet(s) a big hug and take a picture with it (them).
• Take a little alone time in your favorite spot and reflect on your past journey and future dreams.
• Fully appreciate sleeping in your own bed at night.

Article by Julie Partin. "Exit Strategy: Conversations to have before you leave home,"ec magazine, July 2010 (Nashville: LifeWay Christian Resources of the Southern Baptist Convention), p. 56-57.

Exit Strategy: Five things you need to know how to do before you leave home

This month, we began a summer series in the print edition of ec, detailing things you need to know before you leave home. The June story tackles things you need to know how to do; the July article focuses on things you need to do and conversations you need to have; the August article will focus on how to prepare spiritually. We'll feature the articles here on the blog, so be on the lookout for them this summer. 

For some of you, this will be your last summer before you enter the “real world.” Whether you’re going to college, work, or serving in the military, there are things you need to know before you’re on your own. And whether you’re leaving the nest this fall or not, we at ec want to help you learn those things. That’s why we’ve asked Julie Partin to write this three-part “Exit Strategy” series. She’ll talk about all the things you need to know, including the practical stuff you’ll see this month.

How to . . .
• Change a Tire. Vehicles come equipped with the essential materials (spare tire, jack, and tire iron) to change a tire. As a safety precaution, do not change a tire in an unsafe area. The car should be turned off, in park, on a level surface, with the emergency break and hazard lights on.
Step-by-step instructions:
Take the spare tire, jack, and tire iron out of car (usually, the trunk). Loosen bolts with the tire iron while the car is still on the ground. Place the jack underneath the door frame nearest to the flat tire. The jack is used to raise the car and requires a tire iron to operate. Stick the pointed end of the tire iron into the designated slot and rotate clockwise. The vehicle should slowly lift up. Make sure you raise the car high enough so that the new tire will fit.
To take off the flat tire, loosen bolts with the other end of the tire iron. Turn the iron counter-clockwise. Remember, “Lefty, loosey. Righty, tighty.” Do not lose the bolts because you will need them to attach the spare tire. Take the old tire off and place it in the trunk.
Put the spare tire on the vehicle. Place the bolts on the spare tire by hand-tightening them first. In a star (not circular) formation, tighten the bolts with the tire iron until they’re secure, then lower the vehicle completely. Remove the jack and finish tightening bolts in the star formation.
Drive under 55 mph immediately (or as soon as possible) to replace the spare tire.

• Sort Laundry. This should help you understand how to separate your dirty clothes into appropriate loads. Always check the tags in your clothing, but here are a few general tips:
Darks: (cold water) Deep colors such as red or black.
Lights: (warm water) Cream, pastel, or light colors.
Whites: (hot water) Most of the time a light cycle can include white items, but there are times when heavily worn items like socks and underwear require bleach.
Delicates: The water temperature depends on the colors of the clothing, but just be sure to use the gentle cycle and/or spin with these items.
Towels and linens: (warm or hot water) Use the normal spin cycle.
Some guys (and a few gals) avoid separating clothes altogether. Your clothes will not last as long and you run the risk of colors bleeding, but it can save you time and cash. One option is to get a delicates bag and use it to shelter different textures of clothing from each other if they are in the same load.

• Cook. The best thing you can do for yourself is develop a nutritious and inexpensive diet. The worst is to constantly stuff yourself on fast food. Here are a few go-to meals:
Decide on a good, simple breakfast, and make it a habit to eat at the beginning of each day. Your morning classes and practices will be much better. Some healthy examples are:
• Whole grain cereal and milk
• Bagel and cream cheese
• Fresh fruit
For lunch and dinner, find a sandwich you love. It can be as simple as peanut butter and jelly. The best option is to include a source of protein such as turkey or ham. Experiment with cheeses, condiments, and vegetables until you find one you crave.
Burritos/soft tacos are easy and cheap. You need tortillas, shredded cheese, and refried beans. It is helpful if you have a pot to heat up the beans, but they are edible without. To add extra taste, include lettuce, tomato, sour cream, cooked chicken or beef, and hot sauce.
Pasta is a little more complicated but still not difficult. Boil some water, throw in pasta, cook it until it is soft, drain the water, dump your sauce of choice in the pan with the cooked noodles, wait until it is steaming, and voilà!—a delicious meal.
Good snacks to keep you going:
• Nuts and trail mixes will help on a day when you are feeling tired.
• Hummus with pita chips
• Cheese with crackers

• Change Sheets. It is helpful to have at least two sets of sheets that fit your bed. Wash one while the other is on the bed. There are typically two pieces of material in sheet sets; some also include pillowcases. The sheet with the ends that curl over with elastic is called the “fitted sheet” and is used to cover the mattress. Put these on one corner at a time, tucking each corner under the mattress. The flat sheet goes over your body when you sleep. It is helpful to tuck the bottom corners (that will be by your feet) under the mattress to hold the sheet in place. If you have allergies or are sick, it is best to change your sheets once a week. Since laundry can be expensive and inconvenient if you have to use a laundromat, you can probably get away with twice a month. At the very least, though, change your sheets once a month. However, it is important to still change your pillowcase every week to keep you from breaking out and getting sick.

• Make a Budget. While you will probably not experience the full brunt of bill-paying until later in life, it is necessary and helpful to do some financial planning now. Determine how much money you have to spend every month or week. Then determine what things you will need to spend your money on. Some common examples are:
• Food
• Gasoline
• Tithe
• Rent
• Toiletries
• Bills (such as cell phone, electricity, or school expenses)
• Events (dates and concerts)
• Clothes
• Savings
• Miscellaneous

Determine your own categories based on your personal needs and desires. Decide how much money you can spend on each of these categories. Try not to go over budget in any category. Simple boundaries will save you lots of stress and set you up for success in the future.

image © Martin Poole / Thinkstock