College Graduation Reflection

Thanks to all my AP classes in high school and a few summer courses during college, I am graduating from Belmont University a semester early. In two days I will walk across the stage and be done with college forever. It’s a bittersweet experience.

I thought about what I might say if I got to make a speech during the graduation ceremony. This is what I would say to my classmates …

"Anticipation. Can you feel it in the room? This is a night you and I have been looking forward to. We are graduating from college and about to enter the “real world.” No more homework; no more exams. Within a couple hours, we’ll have a degree, and we won’t be college kids anymore. We’ll be adults. We have anticipated this day.

One thing I’ve realized during my time at Belmont is that I live life waiting in anticipation. So many times I have prepared well in advance for the next chapter of my life and then thought about it incessantly until it finally arrived. I anticipated going to Towering Traditions, I was excited about moving from Texas to Nashville and making new friends, I couldn’t wait to finish finals each year so I could enjoy the summer, I was eager to begin my semester journalism internship in Washington D.C., I looked forward to changing my major to Biblical Studies and studying something I truly cared about, and I anticipated Debate 08 being over so campus could get back to normal.

Anticipation is not a bad thing, but I’ve learned this is not the way to live. You see, as soon as I have gotten to the place in life I had been waiting for, it wasn’t long before I began looking ahead to the next great thing. American culture tends to look to the future, and I’m no exception. I am always working for something better, always looking forward to the next fun activity, and always excited about what’s ahead. And while it’s fine to anticipate good things, I’ve realized I’m not truly living if I can’t be content in the present moment. I look ahead because I believe the next step is going to be even more fun and fulfilling. But usually, it’s not better. It’s different, but where I came from is just as good as now.

I’m afraid that as I look ahead and think about how much I will enjoy the next chapter, I forget to truly cherish the chapter I’m in. If I keep living like this, life will fly by as it seems to have done these past few years. Perhaps you can relate.

Though it’s taken a while to get it through my thick head, Belmont has taught me it’s important to live in the present. I can think of times I’ve been so focused on getting good grades in my Bible classes that I have neglected praying with a group of friends or I have rejected helping a person in need. I was too busy doing schoolwork so I could prepare for seminary. But community and service are what seminary is all about! It’s easy to get so focused on what you want to achieve in life that you miss out on what God is calling you to today. My ambition to be a good minister has stunted my ability to see that ministry is right in front of me. Thankfully, though, I have not missed out on all the opportunities God has given me.

At Belmont, I’ve learned about ways to be involved. Social justice is a big theme on campus, and it’s clear that there are ways in which to serve today. I’ve heard people talk about the Invisible Children, Fair Trade, going green, and how to work with the local homeless population. Personally, my freshman year I went with Belmont to Honduras to help a soup kitchen and play with orphans. My sophomore year I saw on a Belmont website how to get involved with teaching conversational English to internationals, and now I have a dear Chinese friend. Junior year I walked with some classmates in the Martin Luther King Jr. parade in Nashville. I was even required in some classes to be involved in service: this year I babysat Hispanic children while their parents learned how to navigate the American school system.

I think being content in the moment means being content in God. Perhaps the relentless anticipation is rooted in a desire to feel fulfilled. Through my years in this university, I have become even more convinced that Jesus is the only One who can fulfill our deepest longings.

The lesson resonating in my heart as I leave Belmont is this: Live and Enjoy. To me, what it will take is slowing down. Let me encourage you to reflect on your life and experiences as you go. Be aware. Train your mind to engage what is around you instead of what is in the future.

Worse than anticipation is anxiety. You know what the Bible says. “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own.” And finally, be intentional with your days – the way you interact and the activities you pursue. You are what you do. Do good in this world. Get into the game, the adventure of today. And love! Love is the most important thing.

The reality is that some of our big life markers are already passing by. High school is gone. College life is now over. I’m getting married in a few months. If I keep looking to the future, I’ll miss out on where I am, and soon all my life markers will pass by before I realize it. I don’t want to live like that. This is not practice. This is the real thing.

As I enter this first year of having a full-time job and a new husband, I don’t want to end the year thinking, “Wow, that went by too fast! I didn’t even get around to doing everything I wanted to do.” I would rather end with, “What a fantastic year. I will always remember this special time in my life.” I pray that you, too, as you leave Belmont, will slow down, make memories, and live fully in the gracious love God has for you. Thank you."

Slave (to the day planner) no more!

If confession is good for the soul, then I hope to feel really great after writing this.

My name is Emily, and I am a type-A, planner-toting, time-conscious, detail-oriented micromanager. There, I said it. I’m pretty stingy with my time and often have a hard time finding room on my calendar for things that come up unexpectedly. When one of my free-spirit friends wants to go get coffee “sometime,” I demand to know when “sometime” is. I set up an appointment with this person, write it in my planner, and then hold them to it. That’s just one example. There is no telling how many people I’ve hurt by refusing to spend time with them in the name of maintaining my schedule.

My rigidity is not my favorite part of myself.

Last week, I threw it out the window.

It was surprisingly easy. A friend needed me. That was all it took. My best friend’s fiancé called to tell me that he was putting my best friend on a plane to Nashville from Denver so she could be with her dad, who was having emergency surgery. He wanted to know if I could pick her up at the airport and let her stay with me that night. He said she was too emotional to call me herself and too exhausted to drive the rest of the way to her hometown that night.

I didn’t even have to think about it. Of course I would take care of her once she arrived in Nashville. Moments earlier, I’d been planning out my one night of downtime for the week. But before I knew what I was doing, I was offering to take a vacation day the next day and drive her home (4.5 hours away). That ended up not being necessary (thanks to a very nice sales associate at Hertz who I’m pretty sure pulled some strings to get my friend a car), but I was completely willing to do it. Looking back, I’m a little shocked that I didn’t freeze up at the thought of doing something that wasn’t on my planner. But the thought of being protective of my time didn’t even cross my mind at the time because I knew what was important.

This past week put a lot of things into perspective for me. I learned several key lessons:
• Number one, when people you love need you, you will do whatever it takes to meet that need. (Which explains why parents go to the lengths they do sometimes.)
• Number two, a lot of the things I think are important aren’t. (Suddenly, the TV shows and manicure scheduled for last Monday night really didn’t matter.)
• Number three, I need to loosen up. I highly doubt that Jesus would have been chained to His calendar, had they had day planners back in His day. He knew what was expected of Him, yet was free to serve when the opportunity presented itself. It’s amazing the freedom that comes when you have your priorities straight.

(And I’m happy to report that my best friend’s dad will be just fine, and that I was able to spend a lot more time with her this past week than I have since she moved to Denver a year ago.)

So if you see yourself in my story, I hope you’ll loosen your grip on your planner and stop missing out on the parts of life that happen without warning. Enjoy your time! It’s God’s gift to you.