Failure isn't final.

If you've read the October issue of ec, you know that failure isn't final. At least, I hope you do, since that's what the cover story on page 26 is all about.

And who hasn't felt the sting of failure? I know I have.

If you read my editor's note in "Writer's Block" on page 3 of the October issue, you know a little of that story. When I think of my greatest failure as a Christ follower, it's the story of my friend who turned his back on God that I think of.

I met my friend at church. I went on mission trips with him. I'd prayed with him, hung out with him and his family, and we'd even worked at the same place for awhile. So when he declared he no longer believed in God, I was shocked, hurt, and disappointed. I tried to talk to him about it, but he only wanted to argue. He flat out told me I would never convince him to see "my side," as he called my faith. I found myself wondering if I could have done more as a friend. If there was some moment when I could have lived out my faith in front of him and let him see God's power displayed and hadn't. Somehow, I came to believe that his refusal to believe was my fault.

I believed I was a failure in God's eyes. That was compounded by some sin I had recently been convicted of in my life—some choices and actions I had chosen to take, knowing they were not the right choices and not a part of God's plan for my life. I confessed and repented of that sin, honestly, absolutely sorrowful for it and knew I had been forgiven. But I couldn't let go of it. I couldn't forgive myself and let God's power be displayed in my life. I had been a failure when my friend turned his back on God and now I was an even bigger failure who had sinned against the God who loved me so completely with a love I couldn't comprehend and didn't really believe I felt. How could God use me? How could God want me? I had chosen to live in opposition to His standard and I couldn't even live a life that convinced my friend He existed.

All of that spiraled down into a dark place for me, the darkest, lowest place of my Christian walk. I accepted Christ when I was 11 years old and really began growing in relationship with Him when I was a about 20, but nothing had ever felt like this before. I felt lost, broken, bruised, hurt, tired, distraught.

I was a failure. And I was convinced that even God didn't want me.

But He did. Somewhere in the depths of my sorrow and hurt, God showed up. I know now that He had been there all along, that it was His hand that held me up, but I didn't see it in the middle of my dark time. One morning, I woke up with the words of Jesus ringing in my ears: Take heart! I have overcome the world. One day I began to sense that it was God who had refused to let my sadness and depression spiral out of control. And I knew at my very core, that the words of Scripture are true; there is a Friend who stays closer than a brother. There is a God who will never leave you, never forsake you, never, never, never withdraw His love from you.

I had lost weight and the joy in my life had been ebbing away, but God restored me. As the psalmist once wrote, He set my feet on solid ground. And for the first time in a long time, I saw things clearly from God's point of view. Yes, there were things I could have done differently with my friend, but it was not my burden or my fault that he walked away from God. Yes, I had sinned. But I had also chosen to confess it to God and walk away from it, which is what true repentance is. And while that sin was a failure, when I confessed it to God and let His forgiveness flow over me and chose to live in His strength rather than mine, I had become a success story in God's eyes. Because He is a God who uses the broken to display His glory. Because He is a God who wants to forgive and bring us into an ever-growing, ever-deepening relationship with Him.

My point is this: no matter what it is or how big a failure you think you are, God can handle it. More than that, He can forgive and restore you. And then after He's done that, He can use you for His glory. I am not proud of that time in my life, but I'm willing to let God use it and talk about it so that I can testify about the God who saved me, loves me, and has never left me.

Yes, you've messed up. Scripture says we all have (Rom. 3:23). But then there's Jesus. And He can overcome all of that. Let Him. Then, let God use you for His glory.