Graduation

Lately, on Facebook, nearly everyone I know has posted something about attending a graduation ceremony, being proud of a graduate, or expressing encouragement and prayers for a soon-to-be graduate. Yesterday at church, we honored the high school and college graduates in our congregation. May is the month of graduations and if I'm hearing a lot about graduation, then that must be all you talk about since you're actually IN high school.

But if you're graduating or have a close friend or family member who is graduating, I'm going to let you in on a few graduation secrets. Ready?

1. The things I remember about every graduation ceremony I've been a part of aren't the big moments. I remember what I wore to my high school graduation, where I sat, and the faces of certain people in the crowd that I didn't expect to be there. I remember how I felt: nervous, excited, and apprehensive, and a tiny bit scared. I remember hanging out with friends at my house later that day and loving every minute of it. So if you're graduating, strive to capture those little moments and not brush right past them. If you're a close friend of someone who is graduating, take some time to have some of those special moments with your friend in the days before and after the momentous occasion.

2. Graduation can be a high stress event. Which means it helps to acknowledge that, understand that, and make an effort to figure out how you're going to handle the stress before it happens. I'll tell you this: I don't always handle stress well. On the day of my high school graduation, I was extremely nervous (I had to give a speech), incredibly emotional, and feeling hurried and harried. My twin brother and I had to be at the school early and I drove. And we got in a HUGE argument on the way there, that ended only when we got to school, and I think we were both still mad. It's one of the most vivid memories I have of my high school graduation and one of the things I most wish I could rewind and do over. Because I can't even remember what we were fighting over now, but I do know it wasn't important. If I had acknowledged my stress and anxiety and allowed the Holy Spirit to be in control, I don't think that moment would have happened. So if you're graduating, understand it's OK to feel stressed, but you don't have to let it rule you. Be aware of the things that stress you out and prayerfully seek Jesus' leadership in how you respond. If you're close friends with someone who is graduating, know that this is a stressful time for your friend. Give him or her the benefit of the doubt. Even better, seek to do what you can to alleviate his/her stress!

3. This is a big deal. Enjoy it. Graduation is a big deal. You've accomplished something important and it is a milestone moment in your life. Don't downplay that! Despite that fight with my brother, my high school graduation is fixed in my mind as a very good day and part of that is because we had a party/reception at our house afterward and tons of people came. We celebrated, laughed, talked, ate, and just had a good time with friends, family, and people we didn't even expect to show up. Don't let the big moments in your life pass you by or pretend you're too cool to enjoy them. You only get to experience your high school graduation once!

4. Graduation is a weird moment in your life. You graduate high school and you feel all accomplished and grown up, even independent. So what do you do the next day when your mom tells you to do some chore? Part of growing up is becoming an independent person who doesn't depend on his or her parents for everything and graduation is a big moment in that process. But it also doesn't give you free reign to disrespect or mock your parents. They are your parents, honor them. (And you can take that up with God because that's HIS command.) If you're graduating, understand that you're going to have conflicting emotions. You feel grown up and independent, but you're still under the control of your parents. It's OK and normal to feel that way. If you're close friends with someone who is graduating, know that your friend might have these conflicting emotions and be prepared to listen, but also to speak the Truth of God into his/her life if he/she needs it.

For some graduation fun, check out page 51 of the May issue of ec. For more thoughts on graduation, go here.

Making the most of graduation

 It’s May, which means that graduation season is in full swing. For some of you, it's the beginning of the rest of your lives; for the rest of you, it’s just another end to another school year. But when you’re celebrating the end of your high school career (and even if you’re not), there are some things we want you to know.

What to do if it’s your year to graduate:
• Take pictures. You won’t regret it. Actually, you’ll want them some day. And don’t just take the expected pictures. Take pics of your friends and capture the candid moments that you don’t want to forget and will never happen again!

• Enjoy these last few weeks of easy classes and teachers who are willing to go a little easier on you than normal. (And if your teachers aren’t letting up, then know that it’s good preparation for college.)

• Treasure not only these moments with your friends, but also the moments with your family. Going off to college, joining the military, or getting a job is really going to change things. You won’t have moments like this again. Trust me, I know.

• Don’t be surprised if you receive graduation gifts. Accept them with grace and thank the gift giver, but follow up that verbal thank-you with a thank- you note.

On graduation day:
• Try not to stress out about the ceremony and don’t fight with your parents/brother/sister/friend. You will regret it, especially when you can’t remember what the fight was about.

(Editor’s note: I had a big argument with my brother on the way to our high school graduation. It’s a black spot on a day of otherwise good memories. So, even though it’s not easy, don’t let the stress of the day take over. Enjoy the ­moment and the people who are sharing it with you! And if you do happen to fight with someone, do everything within your power to right the situation before the day is over. You don’t want your graduation day to be filled with regrets. —Mandy)

• Be gracious with all of the family members and friends who have traveled to watch you ­graduate, even though it gets tough to figure out the happy medium between spending time with your friends and spending time with your family.

• Pay attention to the folks in charge. You don’t want to look like an idiot out there because you weren’t listening during practice or in the few moments before the ceremony.

Staying safe on graduation night:
The night you graduate from high school is one you’ll want to remember, so stay away from the drugs and alcohol that will leave the night a hazy memory at best. (Do we even have to tell you that?)
If your school isn’t planning a graduation night event for you and your classmates to attend, see if your parents will host a party at your house or go in with several other parents and rent a facility where you and your friends can celebrate. Your student ministry at church may also be willing to get involved and plan an all-night event you and your friends can enjoy. (Think bowling alleys, roller or ice skating rinks, arcades, laser tag, the movies . . .)

How awful would it be to work so hard for that diploma and then lose your life in a car wreck or other accident? Be careful that night, and remember that just because you’re making wise choices doesn’t mean everyone else is. Be cautious as you celebrate!

If you’re not graduating, but have a good friend who is:
• Write him or her a letter telling them why you’ll miss having them around next year or detailing the impact he or she has had on your life.

• Consider giving him or her a gift, such as a framed photo of the two of you or something he or she can use in the dorm, apartment, or wherever.

• Maybe the graduate is your best friend, your older brother, or an older friend from your youth group.
Remember that this is their graduation, not yours. Fight the natural urge to make yourself the center of attention and make sure you congratulate your friend for his or her achievement.

• Think about what you’ll do when you’re a senior compared to what the seniors at your school did. What can you do better? What would you like to do just like they did? (No need to let the seniors know your opinions as you evaluate, unless you really liked the way they handled something.)

• Start considering your post-high school plans. It’s never too early to be looking at colleges, figuring out a major, deciding how far away from home you might want to go.

If you don’t think graduation is a big deal:
Whether you want to believe it or not, graduation is a big moment in your life. Sure, that ceremony might not magically change things, but it is a turning point. You’ve finished something you set out to do (hopefully well) and are starting a new chapter of your life. There will be new expectations, new responsibilities, and new experiences, whether you’re going to college, joining the military, or becoming a part of the workforce. If graduation is still on the horizon for you, don’t try to convince yourself that this milestone isn’t a big deal. If this is your graduation year, celebrate the achievement with all the pomp and circumstance it deserves. Then, set your face toward the future and make a commitment to live out your faith in real ways in the real world. (And, in case we haven’t said it, ­congratulations!)

Staff Flashback from Emily:
My senior year, several parents planned a Mystery Trip for the whole class. During the night-long event, we were bussed to a city two hours away, stopping to eat a huge seafood buffet on the way. We arrived at a mini-amusement park where we played hockey, miniature golf, laser tag, and ate snacks until the wee hours of the morning. Then, they loaded us onto a big boat and took us out on a lake for several hours. We danced, talked, took pictures, reminisced, and then had an awards ceremony where we gave out funny awards such as “Most likely to burst into tears” and “Least likely to be in class.” We were exhausted by the time we got home the next morning, but we were able to form some sweet memories. That was the last time that I’ve seen some of my classmates, and all of those memories of them are happy, thankfully.