How to help the new kid

When the bell rings and classes begin this fall, there's sure to be a few new students at the school. We've got some ideas for how you can reach out to them and help make a difficult transition a tiny bit easier.

If you meet the new kid…

1. Invite him or her to eat with you. The most ­awkward time for a new student is lunch. Lunch can be quite lonely for him or her, since everyone tends to eat in their established groups and it’s hard for a new student to figure out how to break in. Simply inviting the new kid to eat with you can make all the difference in his or her day.

2. Introduce yourself. “Hi, my name is __________. What’s yours?” These few words can go a long way for someone who is longing to be known.

3. Pay him or her a compliment. “Nice shoes” or “I like your glasses” may not seem like a big deal, but ­compliments are a sure-fire way to make someone feel accepted and noticed.

4. Offer to help. Does someone look lost? Point him or her in the right direction. Ask if he or she is going your way to his or her next class and walk with that person. If you learn that the two of you share an interest, invite him or her to your practice or club meeting.

5. Ask about his or her old school. A student who has just changed schools is experiencing a major adjustment. He or she is most likely missing old friends and des­perately wanting someone to talk to about it. Giving a new student a chance to share stories about the past eases the ­transition for him or her.
Plan a group outing and invite the new kid. Even if you and the new kid don’t become best friends, he or she may hit it off with someone else in your group. It’s an easy act of reaching out that could be a lifeline for someone who is lonely.

If you've been at the same school for awhile, don’t just assume someone else will reach out. Getting out of your comfort zone a little can make a huge impact on someone else's life.

And if you’re the new kid? Take a deep breath, and remember that your new school is just an opportunity—for meeting new people, for trying new things, and for finding your niche. 

Adapted from Gretchen Williams, "Starting Over," ec magazine, August 2010, p. 6-7.

5 Tips for starting the school year off R.I.G.H.T

With many students heading back to class this week, we thought a few ideas of how to focus this year might be a good idea. So if you want to get the year off to a good start, we've got this advice:

R: Rest and recreation
Get enough of both. Many teens simply don't get enough sleep—or anywhere close to the 8-9 hours doctors say you should. Set a bed time and stick to it (as much as possible, we know there will be some exceptions). Move your phone off your bedside table or turn it off or on silent before you go to bed. It may be tempting to text all night, but you'll feel it the morning. Make it a point to exercise, too. But don't be so concerned with your schedule that you never take time to have some fun. Enjoy your friends, family, and have some fun! Life shouldn't be all about work and homework and expectations!

I: Intake
What you choose to put into your mind will come out in your life. That's the truth. So consider carefully the things you're allowing into your mind, whether it's music, books, images, gossip, or people. Learn to evaluate the things you allow into your mind based on God's standards. Ask questions. Was authority respected or not? What's the view of sex? Did that magazine, book, movie, or music make you feel inferior? When you have answers, see how they line up with the standards and truths presented in the Bible.

G: Goals
Now is the time to set some goals—both spiritually and personally—for this year. Think about what you want to happen in your life socially this year. Is there someone you want to be a better friend to? Do you want to run for class office or join a club? Spiritually, what would you like to see happen in your life? Who in your circle do you want to see trust Christ? Do you need to get involved in a small group Bible study or ask an older Christian to mentor or disciple you? Think about it, then write some goals down. Sometimes, that small act encourages us to make choices that will help us accomplish our goals.

H: Healthy Self Image
Here's the deal: you aren't perfect. But you are fearfully and wonderfully made by a Creator who cares for you deeply. And most of the time, we don't remember that truth. It's true you may not always like the person you see in the mirror and, yes, on really important days, a zit might just appear. But that's just life. Learn to take the good with the bad and ask God to help you see yourself as He sees you: loved and valued. You're not ugly, someone no one wants to know, or too far gone for God to reach you and/or care about you. Stop worrying about weight, looks, and hating the qualities that make you special. Focus on seeing yourself the way God does and read the Bible to reinforce what you know is true.

T: Time Management
Yes, we talk about time management EVERY year. But only because it's important and you're always telling us you have too much to do and too little time. We can't tell you what not to do, but we can give you a few ideas on how to better manage the time you have. First, figure out how you spend your time. If you need to, take a few days and evaluate. You can even make a chart of how you spend your time if that helps you visualize. All we want you to recognize is where you may be wasting time. Are there areas in which you could make better choices? Is the reason you don't have enough time to do you homework because you're talking on the phone or Internet or playing video games? While we're all behind building friendships and having fun, don't do all of that at the expense of your homework or duties. Do your homework first, then have fun. You have to figure out what your priorities are then give them priority in your life. Get a planner and write big assignments and test dates in it—or use the calendar on your computer or other device. Keep your books, homework, and other school stuff in a certain location so you're not trying to find your assignment minutes before you have to leave for school. Make some effort, some plans, and be a little more organized this year. It might just save you some time!


Adapted from "Start the School Year off RIGHT" by Rachel Lovingood in ec magazine, August 2008, p. 54-55.

Back-to-school tips you can use

Yes, we know. You've been flooded with back-to-school tips and suggestions. You're tired of hearing about getting your priorities in order, studying, and getting enough sleep. You know that stuff—or at least you've heard it so many times before that you should know it. And we know that you realize that most of it is vitally important and useful information. So, we don't want to bore you with the same stuff everyone else has told you. Check out our tips for back-to-school below.

Start your school year with purpose.
We're not talking about starting with plans to rock all of your classes, get all A's, and get into an Ivy League college with early admission, even though those things are great goals and good things to strive for. We're talking about living on purpose spiritually. Check out the story on page 24 of the August issue of ec, then read Chansin Bird's personal account on page 26 of the same issue. The fact that you're a Christian doesn't fade when you're at school, though we all sometimes act like it does. Live with purpose this year.

Serve others.
We're not talking about serving your friends lunch in the cafeteria, though bringing them a special treat one day might be nice. What we're talking about is finding ways to do nice and helpful things for others with no selfish motives. Maybe you have a friend who needs a ride home from practice and you or your parents can do that. Maybe you see a student who never has anyone to sit with at lunch. Maybe you know of a teen who wants to do some extracurricular activity but doesn't have the money—and your family does and could donate it anonymously. The idea is that you stop thinking about yourself and start putting other people first. It's what Jesus did for us—and He's called us to be obedient to Him. If you're still looking for ideas about where and how to serve others, check out "Playing to Your Strengths" on page 40 of this month's issue of ec. Find the things you're good at and find a way to serve!

Make new friends.
This summer, we invited you to take a good look at your friends and evaluate those relationships. Some of them may have been good for you. Others of them may not have been. A new school year is a good place to start pursuing relationships that have meaning and value. Keep the friends you've had forever—the ones who know you best, love you always, and push you to a deeper relationship with Christ—ever close to you. But don't be afraid to reach out to new people. It is often through friendships that people come to Christ or begin to go deeper in their relationship with Him. Don't be so focused on your one group of friends that you miss out of a great friendship with someone you wouldn't expect!